Friday, May 25, 2012

Thoughts on addiction...

I started reading Beth Moore's books for one reason and one reason only. The only stronghold I naively thought I had - addiction - prompted me to pick up Praying God's Word. Though otherwise healthy, I was convinced that I had underlying blood sugar problems that made me feel faint, sick, and a little foggy each day. I've had my blood sugar tested to no avail and, guess what? I'm fine. My blood sugar has never been high nor low and my other medical exams were always fine as well. I've even had my brain checked out. It's all fine. After having my sugar tested for probably the fourth or fifth time in my adult life, I started reading about "sugar issues." I quickly learned that the only thing wrong with me was with my heart, and not something that could be picked up by any medical test or treated by any doctor besides Jesus, the Great Physician. I was addicted to sugar. 

This may sound like a laughable addiction to those who haven't been there. I mean, it's not like sugar is a hardcore narcotic, right? There are plenty other worse things I could get into, right? Sadly, though, it's a real life PHYSICAL and SPIRITUAL health issue. It had a daily affect on me and, consequently my family, job, pocketbook, mental stability, etc. I saw the full effects of this problem when I tried to detox my sugar addiction (and it took multiple attempts). I went through all kinds of crazy. I felt like I couldn't move; I felt incredibly out of control anxious (because I couldn't use sugar to quiet my anxiety); and, I felt physically ill. Yeah, doesn't sound so funny now, does it? I expected to cut the white stuff and get back to living life as normal immediately, whatever that meant. There was a problem, though. If I couldn't have sugar...what was I going to do? How would I combat my anxiety?

In addition to fixing the action, my heart had to be healed as well. I needed another way to deal with stress (other than feeding it). Beth Moore says it very well in Praying God's Word,
"No matter whether your addictions are to substances or behaviors, God can set you free. What He requires from you is time, trust, and cooperation. The immense power of an addiction is rarely broken in a day. You see, God has as much to teach us as He has to show us. He could show His power by instantaneously setting us free from all desire for our stronghold. Often, however, God chooses the process of teaching us to walk with Him and depend on Him daily."
Resting on those thoughts made it a lot easier for me to see how trusting God was my only option; and, today, my addiction (and anxiety) are seemingly gone; I still like sweets, don't get me wrong, but I consume in the sweet like honey wisdom of the Lord to get me through instead - not ice cream and candy bars. If you're struggling with an addiction of any kind, please lay it on the Lord! If you think you're struggling because you're predisposed to this or that, lay it on the Lord!

You don't have to clean yourself up for Him, just start praying right where you are and allow Him to start working on your heart. Pray to trust Him; to be released from your burdens; to be able to seek righteousness over evil. And, give it time. As Beth said, your walk isn't a skip through the park. It's often a long walk, and sometimes it's 95 degrees out, humid, and all uphill while you're walking. Don't give up, yet delight in the time and care He's taking to refine you. Trust, trust, trust, and give Him time. 

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