I'm a pretty laid back/go with the flow girl, but I know when I'm being difficult. I bet you know when you're being difficult, too. Sometimes we just feel like being difficult for the sake of it. We do it because we're exhausted, not getting our way, selfish, angry, discontent, holding a grudge, someone else is being difficult to us, we feel like picking a fight, we feel like we must uphold a difficult demeanor because we've been wronged and that's our right, and for countless other reasons. Many times, it's others who are being difficult to us. Adults and children alike do this.
I'm a natural peacemaker, but I'm also a sinful, imperfect human being; given that, sometimes I'd love nothing more than just to smack a difficult person around and tell to him or her to snap out of it. That's the honest truth. Don't tell me you haven't wanted to do the same at some point. And, when those thoughts cross my mind, that's when I know that I need a good backhand as much as the person who's being difficult. As a Christian saved by grace, I know abhorring another imperfect person in that way is wrong. It most certainly doesn't glorify God. I know there's a better solution, but sometimes amidst my frustration with the difficult person or situation, I just can't wrap my mind around a response that would be God-glorifying. Sometimes I react with a poor response or none at all. Lately, though, I've been seeking that truly Christlike response.
During my quiet time one day last week, I read a piece of scripture that I should probably print and hang in every room of our house as well as carry in my purse. Romans 12:9-21 tells it like it is when it comes to what to do with difficult people:
Marks of the True Christian
9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,[a] serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.[b] Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[c] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Of course, this selection's title is: Marks of the True Christian, not "How to Fix a Difficult Person." However, when it comes to dealing with people or any number of situations, I think it would be hard to go wrong with this catch-all piece of scripture. I've visited these verses several times in the past few days and look forward to referring back again next time I have the urge to smack someone around ~ or need a good smack-around myself.
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What a great list. Hmmm, I am thinking multiple copies, one per room for me. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
Great post! I should probably print it out and post it in every room in my house too...
ReplyDeleteNoelle
Amen to this post!!!
ReplyDelete