Attention: Blessings may be closer than they appear.

If I had to rank each day on a scale of difficulty, 1-10, with 10 being the type of day where I'd like to start chain smoking, yesterday was about a 12. As a whole, it wasn't like they formed a mob and rose up against me or anything, just a few things happened that nearly sent me over the edge. And, you should know, I'm not one that tarries particularly close to the edge. It really takes a lot.

It was cold, dark and rainy yesterday so we were stuck inside all day long. After half-a-day of this, the minions start getting restless and that's when trouble sometimes ensues. The baby (two-year-old) was all dreaming up sugar plums up in her bed; one child was watching a movie; one was parked at the kitchen table (coloring, I assumed); and the other was upstairs doing something, I don't know, blowing her nose for like 20 minutes. Since I appeared to have a break, I settled into my favorite couch with Pinterest open, some cozy pillows and a fall blend of oils diffusing to my left. All was well, I tell you. Then? The child who had been upstairs came down and says to me... "Mom, sprinkles are everywhere." I said, "ok, clean them up." Three minutes later, "mom, I can't." Odd from my quick-to-help child who LOVES to vacuum and sweep. I went in to inspect. 

The child who had been sitting quietly at the kitchen table somehow tossed? exploded? dropped? ...who knows... a bulk container of round sprinkles. My friends. In my almost eight-and-a-half years of mothering, I don't know if I have ever seen such a wide spread mess. Sprinkles filled every grout line, covered every tile, traveled to the next room and blanketed my yoga mat. Have mercy. To say there was a million of them was probably not much of an exaggeration. As we started vacuuming them up, the vacuum was spitting them back at me. I emptied the vacuum canister and, of course, spilled the contents of that back on the floor. Though annoyed, I remained pretty calm (I'm going to pin that on the oils I was diffusing...). About 45 minutes later, and one kid with peed-pants later, we got it mostly cleaned up though I don't doubt we will be finding sprinkles around for the next five years. 

I sent the kids upstairs to get socks and appropriate clothes on for dinner out and, in that time, they decided to get rowdy. And then I heard, "wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." The baby, who was dreaming every so fondly of sugar plums, was now awake...like an hour too early. I banished a kid to the couch and sent the other off to do chores while we waited on dad to get home - all cited with excessive noise violations during rest-time hours. Sigh. 

The rest of the evening was pretty status-quo. We had a couple of pre-bedtime meltdowns from kids who wanted ice cream and homemade cookies produced at 8:30pm. I wasn't about to get kids wired up again before I was home-free for the day. I sent the sprinkle-dropper upstairs to bed and I followed with her baby sister. After I had baby sister in bed, I went back downstairs to grab my computer and other things. I crawled into bed and settled in to Pinterest while waiting for everyone else to come up. When my husband came upstairs about 10 minutes later, I said..."have you seen #3 (sprinkle-dropper)?" He said, "No? Let me see where she is."

We couldn't find her. Anywhere. 

ANYWHERE. 

After we'd searched every hiding place in the house, we still couldn't find her. 

All of the worst things were going through my head now. We tore apart every bed. Threw open every drawer and closet door. Exploded every laundry pile. We yelled her name in every corner. Nothing. Not a sign. Not a trace. How could we lose a child in our house? We never heard any doors open, but could she have somehow gone outside? Surely she wouldn't go into the dark rainy abyss. I started feeling really sick and imagined someone taking off with her right from our home. What did the perp look like? What kind of car? What was she wearing? I wouldn't be able to explain any of it. I didn't know how we would explain this to the police, but I pictured the headlines and we have never been so close to calling them. 

Absolutely frantic, I went back into our bedroom and threw the covers off of our bed (where I was just laying moments before). 

This child. There she was, sleeping soundly - angelically even - fully covered in our blankets. 

She went upstairs and thought it would be fun get under our covers and hide so we'd be surprised to find her when we got into bed. Before we had a chance to find her, she fell asleep fully covered in blankets and had sunk in to the memory foam mattress a little, which is why I didn't notice her RIGHT NEXT TO ME as I laid in bed. Even my husband looked through our room three times and under the bed. We moved her, as she slept soundly never realizing that we almost called in the troops for her return. We praised JESUS over and over and over and I consider it a lesson learned. 

Sometimes our blessings come in ways unexpected, friends. Sometimes they are hard days and things that are there to teach us patience, mercy, forgiveness, etc. And, sometimes, they are right beside us and we get SO caught up in panic and mis-trust that we don't even notice them. I am STILL praising the Lord this morning that our child wasn't really missing. We are going to spend the morning doing some fun projects together and loving one another intentionally! 

Blessings are all around you, friends, and some may be unexpected and closer than you think. 

Yeah, it looks like a mess, but I really do know where everything is!

Thinking of organization = this face.

Despite what the "qualifications" section of my now rather dusty resume may insinuate, I'm not the most organized person on earth. In fact, historically, my organizational M.O. has been this: "It may look like a mess, but I know where everything is." In other words, back away while I live amidst the chaos. K? I'm not disorganized on purpose, there are just plenty of things I'd rather be doing (like hanging out with the littles and my hubs, doing kitchen experiments, exercising, loitering at the craft store, taking photos, and playing with my art supplies) than squirreling crap away in little bins and boxes while the clock ticks on. Know what I mean?

Recently, though, I've been feeling a little convicted about my squaller lack of organization. I just can't seem to run the ship as tight as necessary when everything is out of place (or doesn't have a place to begin with). With a husband, four littles, and our business to help with, I've decided that organization has to be a little higher on the priority list than it is. So, I'm overhauling things - task by task and room by room.

The general concept of being an organized person is a little overwhelming for my short attention span. So, we're taking baby steps each day. Here are some little tasks that I've employed to help make life easier and the ship sail smoother:

I am a Thirty-One consultant, for goodness sakes.
I have no excuse for disorganization.

• Make a weekly meal plan - this is a really hard one for me. I don't know why (maybe because I would rather be impulsive about food?), but it seems I'm always deciding what we're having for dinner about an hour before we sit down to eat. I need to be better at this. :) In the long run, we'll save time and money on groceries if I'm a better steward of our meal money and time. Here's a really good site for meal planning.
• Make (myself) a chore list - it's true. I need a chore chart. I'm highly motivated by gold stars and colorful charts. Besides, if I don't have a list in front of me, I lose track of what I'm doing. Chore charts work for our six-year-old and they work for me, too. Just saying.
• Put the laundry away as soon as it's folded Ah, the laundry is often my nemesis. However, because it's unacceptable to go naked...or dirty...the laundry keeps winning. 
• Purge unnecessary household items weekly (if the crap isn't around, it can't pile up; if it's not in use for a while or finished being used, it may be time to toss, give or donate).
• Make better use of all the bins, boxes, storage containers and organizers that I have and don't use. In addition, I've been looking to Pinterest for more creative ways to organize. Also, I'm a Thirty-One consultant. Surely you realize how many awesome organizational products we have in this house. LOTS. I've been busy assigning each one a job and it's working out marvelously. 
• Tidy up! I can't tell you how good it feels to clean all of the scrap papers out of the kids' art boxes, clean off the island or straighten up a book shelf that's been ransacked by the baby. These things take just minutes and make a big difference in the overall appearance of a room.

I have four of these. I could have forty.
Most helpful. bag. ever.

Following these simple guidelines has already made a big difference in getting through each day! I'll be blogging, next, about how I'm attempting to make each room a little more organized. :) If you have any organizational tips to share, I'd love to see them!!

Prov 14:1 (ESV) The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.

Still working on my PhD, at the School of Hard Knocks!!

You guys, I've told you about my anxiety problems and how I hate feeling out of control. My word. Yesterday was off-the-hook out of control, it seemed!

After dropping our daughter off at school, I scratched the side of my nose and you'd think someone stabbed me in the face. Blood everywhere and no tissue or paper towel to be found. Within twenty or so minutes of being home, I found our downstairs toilet clogged (and getting with in 10ft of a toilet plunger is NOT something an OCD-prone person wants to do - GROSS!). After unclogging the toilet, I got dressed in a hurry and rushed out the door to pass out yard sale flyers with a friend. She was taking care of some extra littles yesterday, but we decided an outing would be an adventure. We took eight littles, ages five and under, around the neighborhood, to stuff yard sale flyers in 80+ mailboxes. This is the point when I was wishing I knew some pre-school teacher tricks. Pre-school teachers are amazing and always know how to control an army of little people in any situation. Winds were gusting, flyers were flying through the air and I was chasing them (with a baby riding on my back) while my friend kept the other littles in line. Despite all of the variables stacked against our situation - it turned out well and only a few neighbors stared.

When we returned home, I began cleaning and managed to knock my head (hard) on the corner of a table. A little while later, we sat down to have a late lunch and relax a moment. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the wind catch our outdoor umbrella and launch our heavy metal patio table (and six metal chairs) through the air, only to watch it all crash down the stairs of our deck. Glass everywhere and the table is a lost cause. It's always something, right? We'll be finding that glass forever. About 2pm, I realized my pants were on backwards and had been all day. I thought to myself, "it figures." And proceded with my cleaning (without fixing my pants - you know, what did it really matter at this point?). 

The rest of the afternoon seemed to be going well. The two big kids were resting, our oldest was playing at her friend's house and the baby was napping happily upstairs. I decided to take advantage of the quiet time and bake some (clean) cookies. As they were cooling, the cooling rack decided to hop off the counter - cookies and melted chocolate all over the kitchen floor. Awesome. I needed to mop anyway, right? Right. That mess was all cleaned up and it was about time for our company to come for dinner. I opened the oven door to put our salmon in when I saw something unexpected - the last batch of cookies was still in the oven. And, I'd totally burnt the tar out of them re-baked them. So, half a dozen cookies were sacrificed by the cooling rack and the others were turned to stone due to my negligence. Ok, we don't need sweets anyway. Next?

About twenty minutes later, I opened the oven door to take the salmon out. Guess what? Our not-so-cheap stoneware pan was completely split in two. OY! At least the fish was ok, but our poor pan!! We ate our dinner and had a great time with our friends without further incident. Around 9:30, the kids were all settled into bed and just as I felt that you-made-it-through-another-day feeling, I heard the cough. You know, the one that procedes you-know-what... That's right, a kid threw up (a bunch). And, in addition, the baby woke up with a fever (and then woke up again and again and again and again and peed all over me, through her PJs, when her diaper decided to leak sometime around 2 a.m.). We both got a wardrobe change and then went back to bed.

This morning, so far so good. And, you know what...it's all ok. Many, many things happened that were out of my control yesterday. I couldn't stop pans from busting, kids from vomiting, or the winds from gusting - but God ordained it all, and for that we're blessed and can be joyful still knowing that He is sovereign in everything! Amidst the craziness of yesterday, I was able to capture the picture of two of our daughters (right) and was reminded of how blessed we (all) are by little, every day moments and getting to realize the joy of those moments. Sometimes when everything seems to be going wrong, we need to look around and praise God for all the things that really do go right, and often un-noticed.

Humble pie, anyone?

It seems like humble pie is being served every where I go lately. I'm not complaining; I'm getting used to the taste, actually. If you've been reading this blog a while, you might remember that a month or two ago, one of my littles threw up at the grocery store, in the main aisle, repeatedly. I'm not talkin' about no baby spit up either, people. This was the full-fledged "if-you-weren't-in-the-sorority-of-moms-before-you-are-now" stuff. Make sense? Well, the kiddos were at it again over the weekend. If you are bothered by toilet talk, you can just go ahead and click-out now and I'll see you on the next post. If you're okay with it, here's the latest character-builder.

My husband was meeting with some customers at the end of the day and I still had an errand or two to run. To make good use of our time, I dropped him off and decided to take all four littles into the family bookstore to pick up a children's bible for our friends who were having their littles dedicated in church the next day. Four kids, bookstore, no problem. Right? They're well-behaved, right? No big deal. What can go wrong?

We made it from the car to the store with no problem (first major obstacle cleared). Our oldest was managing the middle two for me just fine while I searched for the book I was looking for. I found the book in about 60 seconds and we really should have checked out and ran could have left then, but my inner book-hoarder took over and I just couldn't seem to get us out of there. I meandered through the store some more and the littles started getting restless. I think they brought me about 476 different books to ask, "mom, can we get this?!?" Once I saw that we were re-arranging just about every shelf in the store, I started to look a little faster. I had this sudden idea to pick up a small purse-size Bible for myself, but had trouble finding the translation I wanted. During this time, I've managed to say "yes" to about four books for my early-reader (I mean, who can turn down a child who's developing a love for reading??). Meanwhile, the baby is jumping around like a feral beast slipping out the bottom of her Ring Sling that I somehow managed to put on all twisted. So, I put the baby on the floor of the bookstore, un-thread the sling, re-thread the sling, put it on, sling her up and we move on. Finally I get my Bible and want to check just one more thing. As I'm checking, I hear the five-year-old say to the three-year-old, "you smell like poop." Of course she does; to the registers we go.

After I tell the kiddos to stay in line with me four or five times while some stranger-lady behind me is stroking the baby's hands and feet, we're finally up to the front. The cashier rings us up (of course, I've over spent already and they want to know if I want my Bible cover personalized). I mean, I already have four children jumping about - one of which smells like poop - of course I want it personalized. Now I've spent six more dollars and have to wait 10 more minutes for them to stamp the cover. I take all of the children out to the car in hopes of freshening the one up. I get the non-stinky three back in their seats and start to change the poopy one. Sadly, I managed to drag the mess out of the Pull-Up all the way up her back. Weeeee! I had to give her a bath with wipes and, THANKFULLY, I had a another clean outfit for her in the car. Once she was all fixed up, my five year old (boy) has to pee. This is the kid that pees like twice a day and, of course, it's an emergency this time. There's no way I'm taking all of these children in a public restroom. I'm just not doing it. I let him go next to the car in the parking lot (completely shielded, of course). During this time, he manages to pee on my foot.

Awesome.

I get them all back in the store to get my personalized Bible (all of the employees are turning to stare at me...) and we take off to pick up my hubs and get to the next place. At least we all made it out alive, right?!

Oh, and that Bible I went in to get for my friend? The one that I made the trip for? Yeah, she got the same one from the church the next morning.

You know. I'm going to take this as a lesson in patience, humility, and remembering that God ordains all of our moments - even the crazy ones. I could totally ask God why he sent me on a rat race through a busy store with a poopy child only to get peed on and find out my friend already has the book I went in there for. Alas, I know he has greater reasons than I could ever fathom. And, that's totally fine with me.

What are you going to do with your life?

You know the career assessments, from high school, that help you determine what to do with your life? Yeah. I loved those. I loved thinking about the possibilities of all the things I could do and how I was going to do them. Though I had some ideas, there really wasn't one particular profession or field I thought I'd be in. I knew I wanted to get married, have kids, write and help people. Those assessments always alluded to options that included me writing/teaching/helping people, but I had no idea how these things would play together in real life. I went through college and got a BA in English (professional writing) then took the first job that came to me as a technical writing intern; then, soon after, that internship got me a full-time job working for a financial management company. Let me tell you something. I got Cs and Ds (D = diploma, right?) in high school math. I am not a numbers person.  I really didn't belong in a company with a financial focus, regardless of what I was doing there. It's like foreign matter to me, y'all.

After having our first baby I found it really, really hard (okay, anxiety made it impossible) to travel (only day trips 50-100 miles away) for work, which was required by my position at the financial place. Pretty soon, I transitioned into another position with the same company - not requiring travel or number crunching - and that lasted a few months before I moved on totally. My momdar was on high alert and I just couldn't be so far away from my baby. To prove it, I even got pulled over on the way home from my last day of work. I just couldn't wait a second longer to get back to my little one and start soul searching again.

I felt perplexed and uncertain on who the new "me" was going to be. I was on this "what am I going to do with my (professional) life" quest. Even though I already had a degree (I've loved writing since I could hold a pencil - that should have been a clue), I decided to become a licensed realtor. Because, you know, what was I really going to do with writing? Like, in real life. Heh.

When I was 75% done with the classes I found out I was pregnant with #2 and the Lord literally stopped me in my tracks. I couldn't keep my eyes open (due to first trimester sleepies) through the Real Estate Law class. I just couldn't. I quit and didn't finish the classes.

A couple years later, I found myself enrolled in a masters program for Business Counseling. Guess what - pregnant again. SURPRISE! I knew I couldn't devote enough energy to either my kids (or my job) or the masters program to make it through. I quit before the first class even started.

I promise, I'm not really a quitter - look at my baking!!

Finally, I took another position that I thought would be the winner. As it turns out, that wasn't it either.  In fact, I was more frustrated than ever - until the Lord spoke right in my ear. You know those kids I wanted? Yeah, they are the ones that needed my time and labor. I had been looking to define myself by a career path, not by my identity in Christ. He was piecing it together for me and I was flat out ignoring Him until this point. Collectively, my husband and I listened and agreed that the best place for me to be was home - helping him with our business and taking care of our home and children. And, right before I quit my last job I got another sign - baby #4 was coming.

With all that said, I looked high and low for my calling, but God had been sending me the signals (two pink lines at a time) all along. I'm so happy to be home with these children and so content to know I'm doing the job God made for me and trust Him that it's right. I love taking care of our family each day. It's a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job filled with laundry, diapers, messes, homework, laughter, coloring, toy cars, bubbles and baby dolls. There's no bi-weekly pay, vacation days or 401k, but the rewards are infinite and I get to write about it all along the way.

So, my high school career assessment was right after all, who knew.

Fail to plan, plan to...

PS. I didn't make the the dinner above, my mom did.
It's not health food, but It's too pretty not to show.

...drive yourself nuts at dinner time. I know, it's not how the saying usually goes; but, it's the truth, isn't it? Monday comes around every week, there's no getting around it. If I don't have our weekly dinners planned out by the time I go to the grocery on Sunday or Monday, I'm hosed. Here's the deal. When you take three or four small children to the supermarket with you, you lose all ability to think and comprehend information. There's a whole lot of, "mommy, can we get this?" from the kids and plenty of, "what are we here for again?" from me. I end up leaving with enough good food to make one dinner, bananas, and eleventybillion dollars worth of cookies and juice boxes. It never fails. Never. The problems don't stop at the checkout, though. Once dinner time hits on those six nights that I'm now unprepared for, we usually end up eating something quickly with whatever is in the house or we go out. This failure to plan usually also means I'm going to blow my diet (because by the time we all agree on where we're going I'm STARVING). It's kind of like buying something and unnecessarily spending a bunch of money because you haven't done your research to find the best deal.

One way to combat grocery store grief is to make a meal plan ahead of your shopping trip. Now, I'm not the most organized mama on the block, and sometimes I put things away in super unconventional spots, but I know where everything is (except my oldest child's class shirt that went missing the day she needed it, less than a week after we had it; but, that's another blog post all together), but I can make a meal plan! I know some mamas have best-loved recipes that they rotate in throughout the month and then there are some that make something different all the time. I do a little of both. I like to pick a few good standby recipes and then hang out on Pinterest to gather up the rest. I love culinary experiments. Since I get a lot of recipe requests from folks looking to update their menu options, I thought I'd start sharing our weekly meal plan each week like some other bloggers do. If you like it, let me know! I'll keep posting it. It will give me accountability to get this plan done in a timely manner and will hopefully give you some new dinner ideas as well.

Check out this week's!

Monday - Taco Bake
Tuesday - Dinner Out with Family
Wednesday - Chicken Cacciatore
Thursday - Pasta with Meat Sauce
Friday - Dinner Out
Saturday - Crockpot BBQ Chicken and Carrot Chips
Sunday - Dinner Out with Family

Hope this post gave you some grocery run relief this week! :)

What to Expect When You're Expecting

In the downhill slide of my fourth forty-week tour, I can tell you exactly what to expect. Expect the unexpected. As warm, fuzzy, and sometimes downright frightening as those pregnancy books are, I think they neglect a few details. At my current state, I'm experiencing things that I can't remember reading about in books. Want to hear my top symptoms right now? Okay, I thought you did...

• We're experiencing 4th of July temperatures in May. Who could have called that? As a result, I want to do nothing other than sit in the A/C with a fan on high-speed blowing directly in my face.
• Most of my pants  are too small and uncomfortable. I may wear yoga pants every day for the duration of the pregnancy unless I absolutely have to appear "presentable" somewhere. 
• Every morning when I wake up, I feel like someone twisted my spine while I was sleeping. It stays that way for a good while afterward.
• Those yoga pants I mentioned, it's really hard to get them on when you can't bend over. Tying shoes is also out.
• I'm very thankful to somehow be able to still trim my toenails....somehow. 
• I've learned that my heartburn is caused by eating ____________ (insert any food or drink item) or nothing at all. We're talking fire-breathing, people.
• My hand falls asleep every time I talk on the phone. 
• I can smell roadkill and raw sewage facilities about five miles from wherever I sit. 
• I am exhausted, but my legs are restless. That's fun.
• I saved the most unexpected for last; it's all worth it. 

The throes of pregnancy are just temporary. They are truly minor afflictions in the grand-scheme of life; and, besides, most of the 40 weeks isn't so bad! It's just the last few that are most challenging. Even still, it's my goal to maintain a pretty placid demeanor whenever possible as not offend my husband, family and friends by my current state of uncomfortableness. Instead of lashing out in hormonal rage, I've been praying and praising God instead and, it's working. Here are some things I've been practicing:

• When I feel like complaining, I try to remember to pray instead.
• When I start to dwell on my pain, I remember Christ at the cross.
• When I want sit down and zone out for the duration of the pregnancy, I remember the many undeserved blessings I've been given that need my attention even though I feel weak. I praise God for those!
• I praise God regularly for this blessing of a new baby! I can't wait to meet her and get to know her. I know that the challenges of pregnancy are worth this awesome gift!!
• Every time I check to see how far along I am (and think it feels like I should be closer to 40wks than I am), I'm thankful for the virtue of patience that is being refined in my heart.

Verses to apply: 

• Phil 2:14 - ¹⁴ Do all things without grumbling or disputing,
• Romans 5:3 - ³ And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
• Peter 3:14 - ¹⁴ But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;
• Romans 8:18 - ¹⁸ For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

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This post is linked up to Grace Laced Mondays, Better Mom Mondays and Just for Fun Fridays

Hop on over to to those awesome sites to see who else is sharing.

Perfect house + Small Children = Impractical Notion.

"Life is messy, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Busy children trump an immaculate house any day of the week. Does it really matter that my carpet has a juice stain on it, or that my cupboard drawer no longer works because Graham thought it was a stepping stool? Things can be replaced, but nothing can replace the feeling of “home” that one gets when a house is bustling with children." -Darlene Schacht, The Good Wife's Guide

I couldn't have put it any better than Darlene did in the thought-provoking excerpt from her book shown above. After working the 8-5 routine for many years, moonlighting as a freelance writer, raising kids, and attempting to take care of the bazillion other things on my list, keeping the house in order fell through the cracks. As soon as I was settled in as a Stay-at-Home-Mom, I started noticing all of the improvements that could stand to be done in addition to the daily responsibilities I picked up. Walls needed to be painted, flooring needed to be replaced, drawers needed to be cleaned out, papers needed to be sorted, photos needed to be updated, rooms needed to be redecorated...the list goes on and on. We'd just been entirely too busy to notice and before I thought through it all, I had plans on redecorating the entire house.

I began doing these things and, soon enough, found myself fussing over the perfection of it all. Some rooms were coming out the way I envisioned and some were not. I've spent more hours than I'd like to admit scanning Pinterest for decorating ideas. I kept dreaming (here comes the vanity issue again) of perfectly decorated, spotless home that everyone would be comfortable in. You know what the trouble with that is? We're going to have four kids soon. Perfect house + small children = terribly impractical notion. Now, that doesn't mean that it's okay for our house to look like a dump. That's certainly not what God wants us to do with our things. It does mean that my priorities need to be different. I need to focus on glorifying God with the blessings before us and not fuss over some dream house that would do nothing but cause tension in our home.

Our girls' room isn't magazine perfect, but when I saw the older one reading her Bible to the younger one before bed, I knew it was perfect for them. They are comfortable there. They have their dolls, books, stuffed animals, their space and their favorite blankets. What more do they need? If I created some magazine masterpiece for them, they may not feel at home at all.

Our kitchen table is riddled with knicks and scratches and all sorts of other wounds from kids learning that utensils are for eating - not for carving or drumming. It's ok. We come together there as a family. We pray there. We learn there. We work on projects together there. It's not beautiful, it's not brand new, but it doesn't need to be. It has a purpose and it's purpose is fulfilled. 

My nightstand is piled high with books. They are books I use; books that give me inspiration for this blog; books that help me provide Godly counsel to the children; books that help me to know God more. There, in an imperfect unsteady pile, they will stay.

I love being at rest with this issue. I love knowing that we don't glorify God by creating all of these beautiful spaces, we really only make idols. We glorify Him by showing His beauty with the gifts He's given us. He provides all we need. He takes care of the details and we are to do our best with what we have while trusting Him. So, my toilets are clean, the dishes are done, the floors are swept, laundry is (mostly) put away, and the family is comfortable. We may may not have a model home, but it's our home. And, as Darlene said, "Things can be replaced, but nothing can replace the feeling of “home” that one gets when a house is bustling with children."


PS. Did you register to win Darlene's book yet? If not, hop on over to the giveaway page and do it now. It just takes a minute...promise!

Ever want to smack someone around?

I'm a pretty laid back/go with the flow girl, but I know when I'm being difficult. I bet you know when you're being difficult, too. Sometimes we just feel like being difficult for the sake of it. We do it because we're exhausted, not getting our way, selfish, angry, discontent, holding a grudge, someone else is being difficult to us, we feel like picking a fight, we feel like we must uphold a difficult demeanor because we've been wronged and that's our right, and for countless other reasons. Many times, it's others who are being difficult to us. Adults and children alike do this. 

I'm a natural peacemaker, but I'm also a sinful, imperfect human being; given that, sometimes I'd love nothing more than just to smack a difficult person around and tell to him or her to snap out of it. That's the honest truth. Don't tell me you haven't wanted to do the same at some point. And, when those thoughts cross my mind, that's when I know that I need a good backhand as much as the person who's being difficult. As a Christian saved by grace, I know abhorring another imperfect person in that way is wrong. It most certainly doesn't glorify God. I know there's a better solution, but sometimes amidst my frustration with the difficult person or situation, I just can't wrap my mind around a response that would be God-glorifying. Sometimes I react with a poor response or none at all. Lately, though, I've been seeking that truly Christlike response.

During my quiet time one day last week, I read a piece of scripture that I should probably print and hang in every room of our house as well as carry in my purse. Romans 12:9-21 tells it like it is when it comes to what to do with difficult people:

Marks of the True Christian

⁹  Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰  Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹ Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,^[a] serve the Lord. ¹²  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³  Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

¹⁴  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. ¹⁵  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ¹⁶  Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.^[b] Never be wise in your own sight. ¹⁷  Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸ If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.¹⁹ Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it^[c] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” ²⁰ To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Of course, this selection's title is: Marks of the True Christian, not "How to Fix a Difficult Person." However, when it comes to dealing with people or any number of situations, I think it would be hard to go wrong with this catch-all piece of scripture. I've visited these verses several times in the past few days and look forward to referring back again next time I have the urge to smack someone around ~ or need a good smack-around myself. 

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Black Bean Brownies with a Side of Patience

FreeFoto.com | By: Ian Britton

Patience is a virtue, right? I'm pretty sure it's one I wasn't born with; I know this about myself and I realize it's something I have to work at. It's not that I go into a fit of "Veruca Salt 'I want it now' Rage" or anything, but I find myself constantly hurrying things along.  I like to move along quickly and get things done. I'm not a fan of waiting in lines. When I'm hungry, I'm starving; and, when there's a traffic jam, well, I'm thankful to have a smart phone.

Though I'm learning patience more and more every day, I can remember the first time my lack thereof became relevant as a brand new mom. You see, when you have a little teenie tiny newborn baby, you get to eat, sleep, shower, and pretty much blow your nose when it's convenient for the baby. I don't know what I thought having a newborn was like, but I can remember being surprised by all these demands that a 7lb person who had been on this side of life for all of a hot second knew how to make. Whew. From that day, Christ has worked my heart a million-and-one times over with fun little patience activities - waiting on the kids, waiting to close on a house, waiting to find the right car, waiting to get a call back about just about anything, a new job, good news, bad news, etc. If you consider all of the things that go on in a day, we're probably challenged to display patience more than we realize. Life is one big ordeal of hurry up and wait. And, today was no different.

All I wanted to do was make some brownies. That's all. This recipe, that I thought about all day, but waited until after dinner to make, probably should have gone together in about 10 minutes. My best guess says it took 35 in our crazy kitchen this evening. You see, during the course of making this recipe that I'd never made before, one child was pulling laundry out of the dryer (being obedient, but leaving a path while taking the laundry to it's folding place); one was fast asleep on the floor; and one was making a path of destruction from every direction. I also had about 100 requests, from the children, to open the vitamins, get juice, get this, get that, help fold the "big" laundry, get a piece of cheese, change the channel, and then, I finally had to pause. Our youngest came trotting across the kitchen saying something to the effect of, "mess. mess. mess.," and holding her hands out in front of her. Yeah, that's always a good sign. She somehow smuggled an egg right out from under my nose and cracked it on the carpet. Awesome! Did I mention that we're out of paper towels AND our oldest used every cloth kitchen towel in the house to help clean up a water cup spill the day before? So, those were still in the washer. Um, help? Thankfully, we have about 80 baby bibs that no one currently uses. I put them to good use to clean the egg up out of the carpet. There were no raised voices, no crying, no fussing. We just cleaned up the mess, washed everyones hands, and moved on with life.

I finally finished preparing the brownies, took a deep breath, and cleaned up the mess I'd made of the kitchen, with the emergency paper towels that I later found we had stashed in another closet, while thinking of this as a lesson in patience. Hooray. I learned a quick lesson of "everything doesn't always go as planned." And, hopefully, the kids learned that the world doesn't stop for their every request.

Now, that I think about it, maybe this post should be called patience with a side of brownies. The lesson in patience somewhat out-shined the brownies. If you want the run-down on black bean brownies, here it is. They are pretty good (if you're actually a good baker - unlike yours truly - and figure out how to make them not stick to the pan). They really don't taste like beans (no one is paying me to say this, btw). Here's the recipe, if you're interested. However, if you want some double-chocolate crazy rich brownies like you're used to, make some of those. The black bean brownies are good healthy baked goods; but, in my opinion, there's a time and a place. If you want to be bad and have a brownie, have a bad-for-you brownie.

Lesson learned, everything is the Lord's timing - from the time we are born to the time our brownies go in the oven and everything before, after, and in between. It's all for a purpose and we can rest in that. Psalm 86:15 But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. (NIV).