I really need to re-take Home Economics...

You guys, I almost had a baking emergency FOR REAL last night. About an hour before company showed up for our son's birthday, I decided to do a baking experiment (you know, what's one more last-minute kitchen mess?). I was trying to re-create this awesome sweet/salty chocolate chip cookie that I had at a coffee house a few nights ago and have been obsessing over since. After I scanned Google for a recipe I thought may work, I ran into my first problem.

I was out of this recipe's "secret" ingredient, corn starch. No worries, right? Tapioca starch has to be the same. Right?! (It's not 1:1, btw, I didn't take the time to read that on the package before using it...)

Next problem, this recipe requires 30 minutes of refrigeration. Usually, ain't nobody (ME) got time for that. I decided to try to do the right thing here and went along with the refrigeration.

Annnnd, then I heard some clanking. From our Kitchen Aid mixer. Maybe I didn't lock the bowl down before turning it on? Oh no, it's better.

A steak knife that I laid atop the bowl fell in, sharp side up, after I turned the mixer on high speed. I see this knife being tossed around the bowl - threatening to fly across the kitchen at every spin of the beater. I get that prickly-heat nervous feeling through my body and the kids start screaming in horror. I was trying to decide how best to quickly intervene while being barrier between the knife and the children and trying not to end up with an ER trip myself. I was scarrrred, you guys.

The knife was removed safely and we went on with life.

I get the cookies in all their un-clean, refrigerated dough glory into the oven and - eight minutes later - they look like COOKIE SOUP on the stinking pan.

WHAT?

I walked away and came back five minutes later. Still soupy. After texting my frustrations to a friend, I notice the oven ISN'T ON, but is still warm from the cake I just took out. Sweet.

I turn the oven on. Ten minutes pass. Now the cookies are (as my dad said), cookie brittle. Ok, ok, I'll write those off to a baking error, let's try the next batch. I phone Willing Cook for sympathy.

You guys. I don't know. They baked, but they also got glued to the pan and a little bit darker than the dark chocolate GHIRADELLI chips I used in them. Yeah, I wasted good chocolate on these suckers.

No less, I scraped what I could off the pan and (using an old trick) consoled myself with the super dark, ugly, chocolate-y, cookie brittle. Sigh.

While my cookie recipe was a total bust, at least no one was injured and the party went on. Maybe that will teach me to make non-clean cookies. Now, about scrubbing those cookie sheets...