Thursday, December 20, 2012

A year ago...

I packed up my cubicle, threw my papers, yoga ball, photos, books, candles and coffee mugs in the back of my little red VW bug convertible; I drove away and never looked back. I was in my first trimester of pregnancy with our fourth baby and well-ready to start a new journey. I had been working since I was 16 years old and, until this time, felt like I was made to have a job; to climb the corporate ladder; to help others through my vocation - though I never felt entirely at peace with any title I held. I worked through high school and college to get to this, yet it was like something just wasn't right; I just wasn't sure what.

A few months earlier, I felt a convicting tug in my soul; I felt the need to quit my job and begin life as a SAHM (stay at home mom) - before finding out about baby #4. It wasn't that I hated my job, but something got a hold of me and, once the decision was made, I felt couldn't stay even one more hour behind the grey walls of my dimly lit cubicle. I realized that the measure of my life had nothing to do with my paycheck and if work was taking away from real opportunities to present obedience to God, those paychecks weren't worth anything to begin with.

I was ready obey - to be a wife and mom before an employee. I was ready to spend my time wiping noses, helping with homework, cooking meals, having occasional playdates, cleaning up messes and so on. I knew quitting meant changing our lifestyle a little; losing touch with friends at work; and, having over-flowing faith in what God was doing in my heart here, though I had no idea what we'd do on day one...or one-hundred and one, all home together. I just knew I needed Him to lead me.

He did and He does.

I found out, real-quick, that there was very little time to play around (no, SAHMs don't really sit on the couch watching soaps and eating bon-bons every day). There was work to be done and, some of it (laundry - in particular), I wasn't super excited about. I realized that if I tried to do everything for God's glory (yes, even doing laundry is for His glory - though it doesn't seem so glorious at time), I did much better at my "job." There was also more time to snuggle my babies, stay up with them through the night, and to make their favorite dinners - I love these moments so much more than laundry. :) I learned that there were more opportunities to serve others; there was more time to find new friends and catch up with the old ones; there was also a little time leftover to start and write this blog.

I think I've learned more useful things during this last year than in the last ten. In many ways, making the decision to stay home was like starting life awesome life where you get to hug babies, help people and wear comfy clothes every day. No, I don't cash a big paycheck. I don't shop at fancy clothing stores, drink expensive coffee everyday or go on posh vacations, but I know I'm right where I belong and that's worth a million bucks.

I know, dear friends, that not every mama can stay home with her babies. This can be so painful, I know that! Keep praying, though, for what God wants for you. He does provide! It may not be in the way you wish or as soon as you wish; it may involve making serious sacrifices that you may not feel entirely at-ease with making, but He does provide. If you can stay home with them and you're on the fence about doing so, just do it! You can always go back to work, but your babies will only be little once.

Thanks for reading. :)

1 comment:

  1. Great post! Thanks for sharing your decision. I struggle with the constant serving but I know for a fact that I too am where I am supposed to be, at least for now.


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