Saturday, February 11, 2012

Up 10lbs!

I'm one of those people that hops on the scale at the doctors office and closes her eyes before the number pops up. I've been dieting since I was a young teenager and to see my weight go up - often times by drastic amounts - makes me cringe. So, I take the "if I don't see it, it's not really happening" approach. I realized, though, at my last Dr. appointment that that's one of the ways food/weight loss has been a stronghold in my life. When I weighed-in at my last appointment, I was happy to see I've only gained 10lbs so far this pregnancy. I'm the lady that's gained 10lbs or more in a month in past pregnancies. My goal, this time, is to gain a normal amount of weight (25-30lbs) not the 60-70 I usually gain.

Any guesses why I would gain that much? Noooooo...not because of a medical condition. Not because I was "eating for two." It was because I was feeding my mis-trusting heart - nothing to do with the baby or my own nutritional needs.  I used my 300 extra pregnancy calories a day as an excuse to feed my anxiety about all of the "what ifs" in pregnancy. Obviously, this isn't a very effective anti-anxiety tool because my 300 calories turned into 900, 1,200, I don't know, 5,000 or more a day? I really needed to try something else. 

This time, I am trying something else. I'm spending a lot more time with my Bible and in prayer than with my favorite flavor of ice cream or brand of cookies. I have to say, it's working. 10lbs at nearly halfway through my pregnancy is pretty big for me. I still weigh way more than I need to due to past anxiety eating, but we'll deal with that after the baby is born. I'm just thankful to be able to trust in the Lord and not in my 44oz cup of pop.

Thank you, Lord, for getting me through every single day!

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