Monday, May 13, 2013

Humble pie, anyone?

It seems like humble pie is being served every where I go lately. I'm not complaining; I'm getting used to the taste, actually. If you've been reading this blog a while, you might remember that a month or two ago, one of my littles threw up at the grocery store, in the main aisle, repeatedly. I'm not talkin' about no baby spit up either, people. This was the full-fledged "if-you-weren't-in-the-sorority-of-moms-before-you-are-now" stuff. Make sense? Well, the kiddos were at it again over the weekend. If you are bothered by toilet talk, you can just go ahead and click-out now and I'll see you on the next post. If you're okay with it, here's the latest character-builder.

My husband was meeting with some customers at the end of the day and I still had an errand or two to run. To make good use of our time, I dropped him off and decided to take all four littles into the family bookstore to pick up a children's bible for our friends who were having their littles dedicated in church the next day. Four kids, bookstore, no problem. Right? They're well-behaved, right? No big deal. What can go wrong?

We made it from the car to the store with no problem (first major obstacle cleared). Our oldest was managing the middle two for me just fine while I searched for the book I was looking for. I found the book in about 60 seconds and we really should have checked out and ran could have left then, but my inner book-hoarder took over and I just couldn't seem to get us out of there. I meandered through the store some more and the littles started getting restless. I think they brought me about 476 different books to ask, "mom, can we get this?!?" Once I saw that we were re-arranging just about every shelf in the store, I started to look a little faster. I had this sudden idea to pick up a small purse-size Bible for myself, but had trouble finding the translation I wanted. During this time, I've managed to say "yes" to about four books for my early-reader (I mean, who can turn down a child who's developing a love for reading??). Meanwhile, the baby is jumping around like a feral beast slipping out the bottom of her Ring Sling that I somehow managed to put on all twisted. So, I put the baby on the floor of the bookstore, un-thread the sling, re-thread the sling, put it on, sling her up and we move on. Finally I get my Bible and want to check just one more thing. As I'm checking, I hear the five-year-old say to the three-year-old, "you smell like poop." Of course she does; to the registers we go.

After I tell the kiddos to stay in line with me four or five times while some stranger-lady behind me is stroking the baby's hands and feet, we're finally up to the front. The cashier rings us up (of course, I've over spent already and they want to know if I want my Bible cover personalized). I mean, I already have four children jumping about - one of which smells like poop - of course I want it personalized. Now I've spent six more dollars and have to wait 10 more minutes for them to stamp the cover. I take all of the children out to the car in hopes of freshening the one up. I get the non-stinky three back in their seats and start to change the poopy one. Sadly, I managed to drag the mess out of the Pull-Up all the way up her back. Weeeee! I had to give her a bath with wipes and, THANKFULLY, I had a another clean outfit for her in the car. Once she was all fixed up, my five year old (boy) has to pee. This is the kid that pees like twice a day and, of course, it's an emergency this time. There's no way I'm taking all of these children in a public restroom. I'm just not doing it. I let him go next to the car in the parking lot (completely shielded, of course). During this time, he manages to pee on my foot.


I get them all back in the store to get my personalized Bible (all of the employees are turning to stare at me...) and we take off to pick up my hubs and get to the next place. At least we all made it out alive, right?!

Oh, and that Bible I went in to get for my friend? The one that I made the trip for? Yeah, she got the same one from the church the next morning.

You know. I'm going to take this as a lesson in patience, humility, and remembering that God ordains all of our moments - even the crazy ones. I could totally ask God why he sent me on a rat race through a busy store with a poopy child only to get peed on and find out my friend already has the book I went in there for. Alas, I know he has greater reasons than I could ever fathom. And, that's totally fine with me.

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