I'm still awake, recounting the day in my head and enjoying a little quiet time while my family sleeps. This is a much-needed unwinding time for me now as it's just been non-stop all day. I got to thinking, though, about a time when my sleeplessness was much less enjoyable. I had insomnia for quite a long time. For many months, I basically had two options: go to bed at 10pm and get up at 2am, or go to bed at 2am and get up at 6am with the rest of the world. At the time, I made jokes about how insomnia made me more productive because I truly did have more hours in the day. However, in all honesty, it became frustrating after a while.
I didn't know what was causing it. I couldn't stop it. I had a job to wake up and go to as well as kids and a husband that needed my full attention. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep like a normal human being. Looking back, I should have looked at those extra waking hours as a blessing. I could have used the time to be in prayer. I could have used those hours to bask in the Word. Instead, I used them to feel sorry for myself and to mumble frustrations about not being able to sleep. I should have looked to the Lord for relief - not to say that He would have given me a full 8hrs a night then and there - but at least I would have had that feeling of "rest" in Him.
Insomnia can be incredibly frustrating, I won't argue that. Though I didn't get it then, I'm thankful to get it now. If you're going through it, don't look at it as a punishment or a problem. Look it as extra time you get to spend praying to God and as a time to spend in the Word. Time to practice obedience and time to worship. Everything is indeed for His glory, even those extra waking hours that we may not desperately want.
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This post is listed on the Time Warp Wife's Titus2sday blog link-up. Please head over to Darlene's site to check out all of the awesome blogs linked up today!
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