Slow down and you won't get in trouble.

My husband and his brother standing by speed racer (c. 1998)

I've heard my mother-in-law use this tried and true phrase countless times over the seventeen years I've known her. She used it quite often when we were young teenagers, getting ready to haul off here or there in my husband's red Porsche 944. Can you imagine the horror of watching your child - your precious cargo - take off in a Guards Red rocket? Ticket bait. An accident waiting to happen. Insurance premium insanity. Thankfully, my husband listened to his mother's advice and always got us from point A to point B safely.

I was thinking about this just yesterday as I was speeding to our kids' swim lessons and approaching a big hill. It recently snowed and I had no idea what was on the other side of the hill, so I slowed down and approached with caution.

I thought about this again when I was making bread yesterday; I was in such a hurry to whip up a loaf of bread and get it on the dinner table, that I didn't notice the yeast expired FOUR YEARS AGO. We had a beautiful golden-brown dough brick on the table at dinner.

I thought about it again when I was hurrying to set the coffee maker. I was moving quickly because I had use the bathroom (for the 47th time) and get upstairs to watch our favorite show (the only one we watch routinely, which has recently moved to a very inconvenient weeknight time slot). I was in such a hurry that I dumped a scoop of coffee grounds in the water reservoir (filled with water, btw) instead of the coffee filter. You have no idea what kind of a mess that makes. I ended up with wet coffee grounds all over myself, the sink, the counters, the cabinets, the floor. Sigh. If I wasn't in such a hurry, I wouldn't have had that mess to deal with. That mess caused me to miss our show AND almost pee my pants.

It's not only the little things though. It's not just driving, cooking or cleaning. More and more, we see people making crazy irrational permanent life decisions to fix temporary life problems. Slow down, dear friends. Your climb might be hard, but you don't know what's on the other side of the hill. Proceed with utmost caution. Think your decisions through. Take the time. Put in the effort. Seek counsel. Pray hard. Go the extra mile. Buckle your seat belts and read the directions. Stop fixing temporary problems with permanent solutions. And? Don't lose hope.

"Why are you downcast, o my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." (Psalm 42:5)

Believe me when I say, I am guilty of making a million-and-one quick irrational decisions and need this advice as much as anyone, but I thought I'd share in case you're in need of encouragement today.

I guess I'm feeling a little...

Content? Could I possibly feel content? Do I even know what that feels like? For an entire decade, I went from "dream" job to "dream" job and yo-yo diet to yo-yo diet, anxiety attack to anxiety attack and I was always sick, out of time, stressed out, and always complaining...you get the picture. I had all these plans and ideals about what life was supposed to look like; what rung I was supposed to be clenching on the corporate ladder; how much more education I should have under my belt - certifications, degrees, accolades, etc. But, I never felt good about it. I kept hitting speed bump after speed bump. Then, a few years ago, something changed. The Lord threw out the stop sticks.


I felt and overwhelming sense of need to be still, and patient. To look at everything God had laid out before me and take care of that, and that alone, while waiting and praying about what's next. It felt amazing to be simply, yet extravagantly, marked by grace instead of degrees or other worldly accomplishments.


BY GRACE I was ready and able to begin staying at home with our (then) three kids and soon to be four (no one was more surprised about this than me). SO MUCH has changed since then and people often ask me how I do it. It's easy. It's so much easier than when I was trying to make these plans for myself. Three simple words, trust and obey. 

I didn't know I was going to be expecting a fourth baby at the same time I felt and overwhelming call to leave my career (and insurance) to stay home with our kids.

I didn't know how to balance cooking, cleaning, child rearing, and being the wife of a business-owner.

I didn't know about the substantial loss that was coming through to us: through deaths, relationships, and miscarriage - and that overwhelming grace heals us and allows us to go on.

I didn't know I would be healthier at 32 than almost every year of my 20s.

I didn't know that I'd be happily writing a blog about life and health, with no profit, instead of making big bucks as a corporate writer.

I didn't know I would be setting-up to homeschool four littles this school year. (I'm pretty sure I said I would NEVER do this, yet I'm thrilled about the opportunity now).

I didn't know that just working to trust and obey, every day, could be so much more fulfilling than any plans I've ever made for myself.

He carries us, every single time! Realizing that God's Will reigns over all allows us to experience incredible contentment. And, for that, I am SO thankful.

Even my (little) kids, know I'm little.

This isn't a weight-loss post, or a short-person post. It's a hope-post.

We stopped at the store yesterday and I was unloading the littles, one-by-one, as our five-year-old says to me, "Mom, you know you're kind of little." I smiled while walking around the other side of the van to get another kid out. As I unbuckle the baby, he says it again as if I didn't hear him the first time. "Mom, you're just little." And, as I thought for a moment that he may be referring to my height (after-all, I am a short-mom), he says this, "God and Jesus are big. They're big big big and Jesus is coming back soon. Down here." He was using a very serious look and expressive hand motions to help me understand the importance of what he was saying.

I find it amazing how God can instill such big thoughts in my little guy's mind and allow those thoughts to escape his lips at the moment his mama needs to hear them. You see, our boy will be starting school next year, and I'm not quite ready for that. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and even brought up home-schooling to my husband. In my mind, he's still so young. So impressionable. So sweet. Though he does need to be in school (and he is eager to go), I'm not ready to send him into the world without his mom and daddy by his side. I really just want to keep him at home with us forever. I will miss him.

When those deep words fell from his little lips, though, I knew I needed to start having trust and hope, instead of doubts, about the day when our little guy ventures into the half-day world of art boxes and alphabets next fall. After-all, these thoughts of concern have been consuming my mind and time too much lately.

His simple, yet great, message to me was an indicator just to stop doubting, and trust the Lord. While
my boy may seem so small still, so are all of us really. We are all still learning and loving and hurting and winning and losing each day. It's not my job to be the child's savior; I have to trust in the Lord that our boy will be just fine at school. I have to trust that He will seek Christ in his worldly troubles while I standby to show him motherly love, discipline and compassion. The Lord designed that for us. And, like all other things in life, this moment in life and letting go is also by design. I can't say that I won't be sad on our son's first day of school, but I will have trust and hope because His plans are always good, even if they go against our own time-table and readiness.

Jeremiah 29:11 - English Standard Version (ESV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare^[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Still working on my PhD, at the School of Hard Knocks!!

You guys, I've told you about my anxiety problems and how I hate feeling out of control. My word. Yesterday was off-the-hook out of control, it seemed!

After dropping our daughter off at school, I scratched the side of my nose and you'd think someone stabbed me in the face. Blood everywhere and no tissue or paper towel to be found. Within twenty or so minutes of being home, I found our downstairs toilet clogged (and getting with in 10ft of a toilet plunger is NOT something an OCD-prone person wants to do - GROSS!). After unclogging the toilet, I got dressed in a hurry and rushed out the door to pass out yard sale flyers with a friend. She was taking care of some extra littles yesterday, but we decided an outing would be an adventure. We took eight littles, ages five and under, around the neighborhood, to stuff yard sale flyers in 80+ mailboxes. This is the point when I was wishing I knew some pre-school teacher tricks. Pre-school teachers are amazing and always know how to control an army of little people in any situation. Winds were gusting, flyers were flying through the air and I was chasing them (with a baby riding on my back) while my friend kept the other littles in line. Despite all of the variables stacked against our situation - it turned out well and only a few neighbors stared.

When we returned home, I began cleaning and managed to knock my head (hard) on the corner of a table. A little while later, we sat down to have a late lunch and relax a moment. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the wind catch our outdoor umbrella and launch our heavy metal patio table (and six metal chairs) through the air, only to watch it all crash down the stairs of our deck. Glass everywhere and the table is a lost cause. It's always something, right? We'll be finding that glass forever. About 2pm, I realized my pants were on backwards and had been all day. I thought to myself, "it figures." And proceded with my cleaning (without fixing my pants - you know, what did it really matter at this point?). 

The rest of the afternoon seemed to be going well. The two big kids were resting, our oldest was playing at her friend's house and the baby was napping happily upstairs. I decided to take advantage of the quiet time and bake some (clean) cookies. As they were cooling, the cooling rack decided to hop off the counter - cookies and melted chocolate all over the kitchen floor. Awesome. I needed to mop anyway, right? Right. That mess was all cleaned up and it was about time for our company to come for dinner. I opened the oven door to put our salmon in when I saw something unexpected - the last batch of cookies was still in the oven. And, I'd totally burnt the tar out of them re-baked them. So, half a dozen cookies were sacrificed by the cooling rack and the others were turned to stone due to my negligence. Ok, we don't need sweets anyway. Next?

About twenty minutes later, I opened the oven door to take the salmon out. Guess what? Our not-so-cheap stoneware pan was completely split in two. OY! At least the fish was ok, but our poor pan!! We ate our dinner and had a great time with our friends without further incident. Around 9:30, the kids were all settled into bed and just as I felt that you-made-it-through-another-day feeling, I heard the cough. You know, the one that procedes you-know-what... That's right, a kid threw up (a bunch). And, in addition, the baby woke up with a fever (and then woke up again and again and again and again and peed all over me, through her PJs, when her diaper decided to leak sometime around 2 a.m.). We both got a wardrobe change and then went back to bed.

This morning, so far so good. And, you know what...it's all ok. Many, many things happened that were out of my control yesterday. I couldn't stop pans from busting, kids from vomiting, or the winds from gusting - but God ordained it all, and for that we're blessed and can be joyful still knowing that He is sovereign in everything! Amidst the craziness of yesterday, I was able to capture the picture of two of our daughters (right) and was reminded of how blessed we (all) are by little, every day moments and getting to realize the joy of those moments. Sometimes when everything seems to be going wrong, we need to look around and praise God for all the things that really do go right, and often un-noticed.

Nasty storms and million dollar houses. Let's learn from this.

If you've known me for more than a second, you have most likely learned that I'm terrified of severe weather. It could have something to do with the fact that I watched Wizard of

Oz every single day for a few years of my childhood; or, it could be that I'm a little bit OCD and big freak-nasty storms that I can't do anything about (except go hide) make me feel out of control and anxious; and, well, like I'm going to throw up. I'll do just about anything I can to get away from a storm. Today was no different.

I was headed down the highway when I saw some ominous clouds looming up ahead. I had the opportunity to exit the highway right then and take an alternate route (which would get me away from said scary clouds). So, off the highway we went. I was driving peacefully for a good 10 minutes or so when it started to rain. After a few more minutes, the rain was really pouring down and, as my heart rate was increasing, I was giving myself a pep-talk. It went something like this, "Suck it up. It's not the end of the world, just rain. You're 31. Keep driving and don't freak out." So, I drive on and guess what happens next...

I. Can't. See.

The rain was coming down so hard that I couldn't see a foot in front of me. So, I quickly pull off the road (into a neighborhood with million dollar houses, btw). Awesome. I'm getting flustered and can't stop thinking about what I'd do if I had to find some place to take shelter and none of these people are home because they're all doctors and lawyers and such. I really was expecting this spring rainstorm to turn into total devastation, I think. The rain calms down after a minute; I pat myself on the back for surviving and we start to drive again. No sooner do I get back out to the main road, I start getting hailed on. ARE. YOU. SERIOUS. At this point, I have the snow globe effect going on in my head. Do I stop the car? Do I go find someone? Do I haul all the kids out? Is there a tornado creepin' up us? I was just losing control (in my head). After another couple minutes, the hail subsided and the rain tapered off for the most part. I drove on, and started thinking.

Driving through a storm is a lot like God's will for our lives. I saw something unpleasant coming during my drive and turned from it. I thought I had control; alas, God wanted me to learn a lesson and TRUST in Him that it would be okay. I thought I could make the drive by going another direction; then I couldn't see; then I got confused and when I thought it was getting better, I got hailed on! Then, don't you know, God cleared up the sky and took away the rain when He wanted to; in His perfect timing! Isn't going through one of the Lord's lessons JUST LIKE THAT sometimes? And, as we know, sometimes the best lessons learned come from the toughest challenges endured. So, my friends, sometimes God puts us through things to bring us closer to Him; to build that relationship of trust, of tough love. All I can say, is use it as a chance to learn and praise him. Always, always, praise Him. All things are good, even the nasty storms.

Perseverance. This is real life, y'all.

This is me. Persevering. With some coffee.

So, I dropped off the blogosphere for a couple days there because one of our littles got sick. Like, the gross, middle of the night, stand by with a trashcan sick. After hitting negative sleep levels, wardening the well-children with orders to stay back 500 feet and and following the sick child around with a bottle of Clorox in one hand and a bottle of Tylenol in the other all day, I really didn't have the wherewithal to do much more. Alas, we're healthy (right) now; so, here I am! There are three things I did do, though. 1.) Pray. 2.) Stay on my diet (I'll tell you how this is relevant in a second), and 3.) Not freak out.

1. The day our girl woke up sick in the middle of the night was a long one. I'm pretty sure I prayed all night between tosses and turns. I prayed for her healing and for sickness to pass over this house and spare our other children (and us, too, btw, we hate throwing up). Staying close with God during a trial (big or small), is SO important to our spiritual and physical health. It's so easy to brush Him off and get caught up in the "poor me, I had to clean up vomit at midnight, lose sleep and wash my hands 500 times today" routine. You know?? We all do this. It's important to seek Him, still. I'm not just speaking specifically about having a sick kid, but with anything. We should seek Him in all things - big and small. We should seek Him when we don't know what to do and also when we do. I didn't know what was wrong with our kid, but I had to trust in Jesus that she'd be ok! We are strong through Him and He will help us get through! Persevere. 
   
2. I know you're wondering why staying on my diet is relevant to having a sick little. Well, I'll tell you. Much of my previous weight gain came from anxiety (a lot of the anxiety happened during my first three pregnancies, but I assure you...little 6-8lb babies are not why I had 70 some pounds to lose). Let me tell you. If there's one thing I super hate, it's having sick kids (like anyone, of course). It is a little stressful and tempting to slip back into an anxious state - especially when you have four of them and it could turn something fierce real fast! I could have turned to food for comfort at this time. I could have binged out on some tacos, burritos and nachos when we took the sick child to Taco Bell (Her request. I know. Bad idea, btw. #parentingfail #iknowhashtagsdontworkhere) the next day. I could have scarfed the heavily-frosted sugar cookies she got to share with her class. But, through Him, I was able to persevere.  Praise God! He does these things, you know? I know from past experience that it just takes a little anxiety to consume about 8,765 calories too many and fall off that blasted wagon. Persevere. 
3. Thankfully, you guys, I didn't freak out. I did wash my hands a lot (but I think that was okay, given the circumstances), I did come in contact with gross germs (this is serious for an OCD-prone person); I prepared myself for what would happen if all of the rest of the littles got sick, I did not go hide under my bed covers; and, I did my job as mom, the job God gave me. Persevere. 

So, all is well. Our family is healed and just in time for the baby to poop ALL. OVER. MY. PANT-LEG. (and her outfit and up her back) while we were visiting brand new friends for the first time (and had no diapers or change of clothes with us). Life goes on friends, be it something monumental or poop on your pant-leg, seek Him and just persevere.

This post is linked up to Grace Laced Mondays, and Better Mom Mondays Hop on over to to those awesome sites to see who else is sharing.

It's not her, it's me.

As much as I hate writing this post, I have to be honest with you guys. It's no secret that I've had anxiety issues for like...forever. Over the last couple of years, though, my once-daily battle with anxiety has been almost non-existent. Almost.

I didn't realize that I've been doing it again, until yesterday. I've been having an anxiety issue that I've been masking as "proper parenting."

Here's the deal. I took Baby #4 to the doctor yesterday and she cried when I put her on the scale. She cried when I laid her on the table. She cried when...well...she basically cries whenever I walk away or lay her down alone or even hand her to a grandparent or anyone else even people she's very familiar with. Hence the reason she's six months old and still sleeping in a bassinet next to our bed. The thing is, she's a GREAT baby. She's happy, smiley, sweet, etc. However, I think she's wonder-baby because I'm, well, babying her so much!

At first I thought I was doing it because it's a novelty to me. I was busy at work when the others were this age. I didn't get to hold them and snuggle them all day. I don't *have* to go anywhere; so, who cares, right? I know some of my attachment-parenting peeps are going to feel not-so-warm-and-fuzzy about this post, but I've read the attachment parenting info. I know. It's not all entirely for me. I am ok with being partially attached (including getting kids on a schedule - my other three were like clockwork). I realized the reason I'm doing it isn't that at all. When Baby #4 was 10 days old, she started choking (on spit-up, I think) in the middle of the night. She turned all sorts of colors and was gasping and kicking and arching and going crazy; this one-time episode in childrearing terrified (and obviously traumatized) this veteran mama. I can remember shaking and feeling weak with anxiety the whole next day. I just kept thinking - what if she wasn't next to me. what if I didn't hear her kicking her legs. what if... what if... what if... If you've every had a problem with anxiety, you know the what ifs are evil. The what ifs turn something that clearly isn't real to a big looming cloud of anxiety that you wake up to every darn day. I made a point to keep her very close to me and, obviously, it's become habitual and I'm having a problem giving her space to grow on her own.

So. That's it. I thought I was keeping her close by to protect her, keeping her out of her crib, letting her nap in my arms, keeping her away from other people because it was best for her. In reality, I have been doing what's best for me. And, it's totally unfair to her. Her pediatrician (whom we love, by the way!) told me how to fix this problem and I'm working on it starting now (she's in her crib as I write).

Our three other children were happily napping and sleeping all night in their beds at this age. They had no problem being handed off to others and they are all very well-adjusted now. None of them feel unloved, either, by the way! They are snuggly littles who get along just fine. So, I know it's most-certainly in my head.

It will take some time, prayer and a lot of faith, but we're going to get this girl (and this mama) to be well-adjusted functioning members of society. :) I don't want anxiety, and I certainly don't want her to have it either.

Blessed with insomnia.

Ok, I know that sounds weird. And, often, the weirdest of weird blog ideas are born near midnight. However, I think this may lead to a point, so stick with me...

I'm still awake, recounting the day in my head and enjoying a little quiet time while my family sleeps. This is a much-needed unwinding time for me now as it's just been non-stop all day. I got to thinking, though, about a time when my sleeplessness was much less enjoyable. I had insomnia for quite a long time. For many months, I basically had two options: go to bed at 10pm and get up at 2am, or go to bed at 2am and get up at 6am with the rest of the world. At the time, I made jokes about how insomnia made me more productive because I truly did have more hours in the day. However, in all honesty, it became frustrating after a while.

I didn't know what was causing it. I couldn't stop it. I had a job to wake up and go to as well as kids and a husband that needed my full attention. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep like a normal human being. Looking back, I should have looked at those extra waking hours as a blessing. I could have used the time to be in prayer. I could have used those hours to bask in the Word. Instead, I used them to feel sorry for myself and to mumble frustrations about not being able to sleep. I should have looked to the Lord for relief - not to say that He would have given me a full 8hrs a night then and there - but at least I would have had that feeling of "rest" in Him.

Insomnia can be incredibly frustrating, I won't argue that. Though I didn't get it then, I'm thankful to get it now. If you're going through it, don't look at it as a punishment or a problem. Look it as extra time you get to spend praying to God and as a time to spend in the Word. Time to practice obedience and time to worship. Everything is indeed for His glory, even those extra waking hours that we may not desperately want.

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^{This post is listed on the Time Warp Wife's Titus2sday blog link-up. Please head over to Darlene's site to check out all of the awesome blogs linked up today!}

Back from the blog hiatus...

Aren't you thankful the Lord goes before us, always? I am. A week ago I heard a sermon about being tired and weary. I wasn't worn down just then, though I sure could relate to the feeling! As the week went on, I realized that the context of that sermon was SO for me. It's was just another example of how the Lord goes before us and prepares our hearts, priming us for what's to come.

In the time between that sermon and now - two of the kids and I had a week-long stomach bug. The neighborhood yard sale I'd been organizing started off on the hottest day of the year (close to 100 degrees) during which, the stomach bug continued and my ankles swelled to an unrecognizable state; I wish I were joking. We sweated through it and had a successful sale, but we were quite relieved to be finished. As soon as the sale was over, I got my terribly off-schedule children down for a rest. I thought to myself, "a break...finally." Um, wrong again.

About an hour-and-a-half into our "break" we heard the wind kick up a little. I didn't think much of it until the house started getting dark and the the power suddenly went out. No flicker, no warning, no idea a storm was coming - just sudden and total darkness. The kids and I scurried downstairs to find dark green, fast-moving clouds rolling through and big trees swaying from side as if they were feathers in the wind. The storm came and went and forty-some hours later after two nights of indoor "camping," enduring very hot temperatures with not so much as a breeze in the atmosphere, and a fridge and freezer full of spoiled food, our power came back on.

Though I was physically tired, and miserable, and weary, I knew my only relief would be to make a conscious effort to focus on Christ. I was thankful to be spiritually sound knowing He'd pull us through in His time.

How many times do we face storms like this amidst just when we're feeling great? Much like the storm that rolled through our community, sometimes in life's storms, there's no flicker, no warning, just sudden and prolonged darkness around us. We may feel like the trees at times, being tossed in every direction at the mercy of something much larger. If we're faithful, though, we focus on Christ. We look to Him in our struggles and realize that it's for His glory no matter how tired we grow. We can find rest in His plan no matter what's happening around us. For that, I am so thankful.

This post is linked up to Grace Laced Mondays, and Better Mom Mondays Hop on over to to those awesome sites to see who else is sharing.

A little kitchen discipline...

The last two weeks I've been poking a little fun at my baking skills, or lack thereof, via the pages of this here blog. You can read about my most-recent kitchen experiments here and here (and again on tomorrow's Pin For The Wednesdays post). I've been jokingly tattling on my "Inner-SAHM" mentioning that she's forcing me to bake even though I'm bad at it. I was just sitting here thinking about yesterday's post and the fact that grace is in every little thing. That means that grace is, indeed, in baking as well. I've come to the conclusion that my fictional "Inner-SAHM" character is really beautiful, amazing, multiplying, God-given grace. As deep-thinkin' as this may be, I feel like Christ is refining one of my weaknesses (baking) to make me more faithful overall and to show me more opportunities to serve. 

You see, my problem with baking isn't that I don't like it. In fact, I love a delicious baked good more than about anyone I know...I just prefer when someone else does the baking. My problem is that I'm impatient. I like to do it my own way (which doesn't always work). I mess up a lot (which is followed by a lot of kitchen messes). And, sometimes, it involves asking others for help (admittedly, I don't like to ask for help). Alas, the opportunities to serve others through baking continue to roll in. 


When I think about my most recent baking experiences, they haven't been to put the hush on pregnancy cravings, they've been for my church family, a fundraiser for our dear missionary friends, and my child's school (well, except for that one poke cake that Pinterest kept taunting me with). Now, I've asked God to use me for his glory. And, apparently, this is how He wants to go about it. I've been able to serve in this department with a joyful heart, I just didn't understand (until now) why I was repeatedly doing something that I claim to stink at. I'm not competitive, so it certainly wasn't a matter of keeping up with the Susie Homemakers of the world, by any means. And, FYI, my kitchen concoctions (though not the prettiest) were pretty tasty!

So, as in all things, I give Him thanks. Thank you, Jesus, for pushing me to serve in an way that puts me out of my comfort zone. Thank you for refining my heart to understand you more. Thank you for the resources to serve and thank you, thank you, thank you, for teaching me patience, perseverance, and how to make better cookies through this all. :) Amen.

Have you been put in a position to serve that's out of your comfort zone? I'd love to know about it and how you overcame your fear of being inadequately equipped to do so.

Verses to consider:

1 Timothy 4:8 
For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

Hebrews 12:11 
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

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^{This post is listed on the Time Warp Wife's Titus2sday blog link-up. Please head over to Darlene's site to check out all of the awesome blogs linked up today!}

Never Ending Grace

Isn't it awesome how God's grace truly never ends? He is truly AMAZING in all things - on the good days, and the bad days. We took at look at John 14 during this Sunday's sermon. Though I didn't know it when I took a seat in the sanctuary, I have to say, I really needed to hear those promises of growing grace illustrated in John 14. 

The third trimester of pregnancy caught up with me last week, as it has a way of doing about this time in pregnancy. I was pouting, mostly to myself, about how hot it is outside; how my bones hurt; how everything I do seems like a chore because it's hard to move, bend, and breathe more or less; also, I was inwardly fussing about how much longer is still left in this 40 week tour - I checked my calendar a several times during the week like the number of remaining weeks was going to be suddenly lowered or something. The days pass quickly, but it seems like the countdown of weeks that remain is dragging on and on. Instead of being driven to persevere, I allowed myself to use these things as an excuse to be a little lazy and grouchy, too. Yesterday's sermon, though, was a gentle reminder that God's grace is there in full abundance and increasing, even when we're hurting. This goes for any kind of hurt - physical, emotional, or otherwise. This is a fine reminder that we must endure to glorify Him even through difficulties because HIS GRACE ALWAYS ENDURES. His grace is truly enough and, in direct alignment with the mission of this blog, I'll tell you - it's found in every second of everyday whether we want to see it or not. Grace is in the aches and pains; Grace is in the success and the happiest of hearts. Aren't you glad it is? I sure am.


John 14:1-14

Jesus Comforts His Disciples 

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God^[a]; believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going.”  

Jesus the Way to the Father 

⁵ Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” 

⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷ If you really know me, you will know^[b] my Father as well.From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” 

⁸ Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” 

⁹ Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? ¹⁰ Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. ¹¹ Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. ¹² Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. ¹³ And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

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This post is linked up to Grace Laced Mondays, Better Mom Mondays and Just for Fun Fridays

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Perfect house + Small Children = Impractical Notion.

"Life is messy, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Busy children trump an immaculate house any day of the week. Does it really matter that my carpet has a juice stain on it, or that my cupboard drawer no longer works because Graham thought it was a stepping stool? Things can be replaced, but nothing can replace the feeling of “home” that one gets when a house is bustling with children." -Darlene Schacht, The Good Wife's Guide

I couldn't have put it any better than Darlene did in the thought-provoking excerpt from her book shown above. After working the 8-5 routine for many years, moonlighting as a freelance writer, raising kids, and attempting to take care of the bazillion other things on my list, keeping the house in order fell through the cracks. As soon as I was settled in as a Stay-at-Home-Mom, I started noticing all of the improvements that could stand to be done in addition to the daily responsibilities I picked up. Walls needed to be painted, flooring needed to be replaced, drawers needed to be cleaned out, papers needed to be sorted, photos needed to be updated, rooms needed to be redecorated...the list goes on and on. We'd just been entirely too busy to notice and before I thought through it all, I had plans on redecorating the entire house.

I began doing these things and, soon enough, found myself fussing over the perfection of it all. Some rooms were coming out the way I envisioned and some were not. I've spent more hours than I'd like to admit scanning Pinterest for decorating ideas. I kept dreaming (here comes the vanity issue again) of perfectly decorated, spotless home that everyone would be comfortable in. You know what the trouble with that is? We're going to have four kids soon. Perfect house + small children = terribly impractical notion. Now, that doesn't mean that it's okay for our house to look like a dump. That's certainly not what God wants us to do with our things. It does mean that my priorities need to be different. I need to focus on glorifying God with the blessings before us and not fuss over some dream house that would do nothing but cause tension in our home.

Our girls' room isn't magazine perfect, but when I saw the older one reading her Bible to the younger one before bed, I knew it was perfect for them. They are comfortable there. They have their dolls, books, stuffed animals, their space and their favorite blankets. What more do they need? If I created some magazine masterpiece for them, they may not feel at home at all.

Our kitchen table is riddled with knicks and scratches and all sorts of other wounds from kids learning that utensils are for eating - not for carving or drumming. It's ok. We come together there as a family. We pray there. We learn there. We work on projects together there. It's not beautiful, it's not brand new, but it doesn't need to be. It has a purpose and it's purpose is fulfilled. 

My nightstand is piled high with books. They are books I use; books that give me inspiration for this blog; books that help me provide Godly counsel to the children; books that help me to know God more. There, in an imperfect unsteady pile, they will stay.

I love being at rest with this issue. I love knowing that we don't glorify God by creating all of these beautiful spaces, we really only make idols. We glorify Him by showing His beauty with the gifts He's given us. He provides all we need. He takes care of the details and we are to do our best with what we have while trusting Him. So, my toilets are clean, the dishes are done, the floors are swept, laundry is (mostly) put away, and the family is comfortable. We may may not have a model home, but it's our home. And, as Darlene said, "Things can be replaced, but nothing can replace the feeling of “home” that one gets when a house is bustling with children."


PS. Did you register to win Darlene's book yet? If not, hop on over to the giveaway page and do it now. It just takes a minute...promise!

He stirs up the seas, and quiets the storms! A look at Isaiah 51.

Before I started writing this post, I grabbed my Bible and began praying. I really had nothing on my heart that was begging to be made into a blog post and because of this uncertainty, I prayed.  I asked God to lead me to a verse from which I could develop a post that would glorify Him and be something that you readers and I really needed to hear. I flipped my Bible open, landing on Isaiah 51:9-17, a verse that I can't remember studying before.

Now, I hesitate to use the word "ironic" because God is sovereign and He knows exactly what He's doing, therefore, nothing is truly "ironic." As I read through Isaiah 51:9-17, though, irony was the only term I could think of.

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I've written about the Lord delivering me from anxiety issues that had been harbored in my heart nearly my entire life. I know many of you struggle with this as well. It's incredibly easy for us to build an altar for our fears - no matter how rational or irrational they are. It's easy to give them all power over our lives, never begging God to intervene because we can "handle it" ourselves. How many times to we fear the world and all it entails only to push God, maker of the world and ruler of our lives, out of the way so we can engage in self-soothing round of worry. (Self-soothing and worry may sound like an oxymoron, but for those of us who panic incessantly, we know that worry is what makes us feel better - as well as worse - and that's why we do it). I think Isaiah 51:12-17 speaks to this. Read verses 51:12-14, below, and see if you agree,

"I, I am he who comforts you; who are you that you are afraid of man who dies, of the son of man who is made like grass, and have forgotten the Lord, your Maker, who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth, and you fear continually all the day because of the wrath of the opressor when he sets himself to destroy." 

When I sought the Lord for deliverance from the darkness of anxiety and the shadows cast by worries of this world, I was able to see the above illustration quite clearly. He allowed me to see. I was looking inward, as many of you may be today. The world constantly tells us to "look for the power within yourself," "aim to be the best you, you can be," "work on your image," "love yourself," etc. Looking inward, focusing on ourselves, only magnifies our altar of worry and discontent; and, the bigger and bigger we build our altars, the smaller and smaller we see God. Once we repent, however, and accept that God is the only one who can lift the darkness of anxiety or any other stronghold that's keeping us, we can enjoy His full majesty once again - or for the first time, perhaps. He frees us! The following verse (v. 14) sketches out the very result of faithfulness and repentance I've described:

"He who is bowed down shall speedily be released;
he shall not die and go down to the pit, 
neither shall his bread be lacking."

What a beautiful and comforting truth.

I realize that I've posted similar write-ups on this blog, but there's really no limit on illustrating His glory through posts such as these, is there? It's also important to remember that we can be right back in the darkness if we allow our focus on Him to fallow. He is the one who comforts us. It is written, and it is true. If you have anxiety or any other stronghold, remember that He is the one who stirs the seas (v. 15) and He will calm the storms of your life; just seek Him.

If you feel that you've been sucked into the pits of this world, I would love to pray for you to receive deliverance today. Feel free to email me: tess [@] tapestryofthemundane [.] com (brackets and spaces removed) or leave a note in the comments box below so other readers can pray for you, too.

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This post is linked up to Grace Laced Mondays, Better Mom Mondays and Just for Fun Fridays

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New blog, new beginning.

FreeFoto.com | By: Ian Britton

I turned the big 3-0 last year and, though I brushed it off as no big deal, I was really kind of distracted by the whole thing. Distracted by thoughts like - my career isn't right yet, I'm not in good enough shape, I haven't done this or that, etc. Being so distracted is real bummer when you have an 8-5 job and three kids five and under at home. This feeling went on for many months and I knew something had to change, I just couldn't put my finger on it. I felt like that big mile marker 30 thing had to happen, I just couldn't figure out what it was or why I was so discontent. I'm pretty laid back with most things, but this time my inner only-child was getting squirmy.

I looked everywhere for insight...in open job opportunities, in conversation with friends, in getting another degree, in new missions. Nothing was coming into focus. However, when I finally got off my hobby horse, I looked where I should have been looking all along - to the Lord! I finally saw this as I was witnessing to someone else. I remember saying, to her, that when we're fighting against life so hard, it's often because we're not trusting the Lord and trying to control everything ourselves. Um, ding. ding. ding. I'm so guilty on that one. I was having a conversation with her, but realized at that moment, I was really having it with myself just the same. All this time, I was looking inward when I should have been looking out.

In the days and months that followed, the Lord kept putting my nose in Proverbs 31. I think He wanted me to keep reading it until I got the point and one day, it finally clicked. He showed me that the only place for me was at home, taking care of my husband and children so I could work to be like the virtuous woman He calls all wives and mothers to be in Proverbs 31. My heart was so convicted and I knew that Corporate America didn't need me, but my family desperately did. How could I not have seen that before? As I was waiting for the right timing to quit, I decided to start "training" for my new full-time job. I started listening to sermons online, listening to audio apologetics books, soaking in the Word, praying much more, and learning to TRUST Him and not rely on myself.

It finally came time for me to quit. Finally, finally, finally. And, right before I was about to do so, I kept hearing this verse, once from my sister-in-law when I randomly asked her what her favorite verse was and a few times on the radio, all in the matter of a couple days...

Philippians 4:6-7 - ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

I found it a little odd that I kept hearing the same verse repeatedly. I felt like something was going to happen. It was just SO apparent to me that the Lord was putting that verse in my face for a reason. A couple days later, I got the [+] sign that means we'll have another little one in tow in a few months. Wait...what? I'm really glad the Lord had me practicing that whole trust bit; even knowing that this would mean paying for expensive private insurance or not having any, with the blessing of my husband, I quit anyway. Instead of worrying, for once, I kept trusting. 


The Lord knew about ALL of this before I did. I can only assume that's why he was preparing my heart with all that time to soak in the Word. A sticky-wicket like health insurance doesn't change His holy Word and I wasn't going to let it chase me back into my self-seeking ways either. He provides and He is amazing!

Now, as a little disclaimer, I *do* believe that the best place for a wife and mom is at home, if you're able. If you're not able to stay at home (and many women aren't these days), I still feel that you need to take care of your family in all of the ways the Lord instructs. I wish I would have obeyed that instruction years ago instead of doing my own thing.