Attention: Blessings may be closer than they appear.

If I had to rank each day on a scale of difficulty, 1-10, with 10 being the type of day where I'd like to start chain smoking, yesterday was about a 12. As a whole, it wasn't like they formed a mob and rose up against me or anything, just a few things happened that nearly sent me over the edge. And, you should know, I'm not one that tarries particularly close to the edge. It really takes a lot.

It was cold, dark and rainy yesterday so we were stuck inside all day long. After half-a-day of this, the minions start getting restless and that's when trouble sometimes ensues. The baby (two-year-old) was all dreaming up sugar plums up in her bed; one child was watching a movie; one was parked at the kitchen table (coloring, I assumed); and the other was upstairs doing something, I don't know, blowing her nose for like 20 minutes. Since I appeared to have a break, I settled into my favorite couch with Pinterest open, some cozy pillows and a fall blend of oils diffusing to my left. All was well, I tell you. Then? The child who had been upstairs came down and says to me... "Mom, sprinkles are everywhere." I said, "ok, clean them up." Three minutes later, "mom, I can't." Odd from my quick-to-help child who LOVES to vacuum and sweep. I went in to inspect. 

The child who had been sitting quietly at the kitchen table somehow tossed? exploded? dropped? ...who knows... a bulk container of round sprinkles. My friends. In my almost eight-and-a-half years of mothering, I don't know if I have ever seen such a wide spread mess. Sprinkles filled every grout line, covered every tile, traveled to the next room and blanketed my yoga mat. Have mercy. To say there was a million of them was probably not much of an exaggeration. As we started vacuuming them up, the vacuum was spitting them back at me. I emptied the vacuum canister and, of course, spilled the contents of that back on the floor. Though annoyed, I remained pretty calm (I'm going to pin that on the oils I was diffusing...). About 45 minutes later, and one kid with peed-pants later, we got it mostly cleaned up though I don't doubt we will be finding sprinkles around for the next five years. 

I sent the kids upstairs to get socks and appropriate clothes on for dinner out and, in that time, they decided to get rowdy. And then I heard, "wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." The baby, who was dreaming every so fondly of sugar plums, was now awake...like an hour too early. I banished a kid to the couch and sent the other off to do chores while we waited on dad to get home - all cited with excessive noise violations during rest-time hours. Sigh. 

The rest of the evening was pretty status-quo. We had a couple of pre-bedtime meltdowns from kids who wanted ice cream and homemade cookies produced at 8:30pm. I wasn't about to get kids wired up again before I was home-free for the day. I sent the sprinkle-dropper upstairs to bed and I followed with her baby sister. After I had baby sister in bed, I went back downstairs to grab my computer and other things. I crawled into bed and settled in to Pinterest while waiting for everyone else to come up. When my husband came upstairs about 10 minutes later, I said..."have you seen #3 (sprinkle-dropper)?" He said, "No? Let me see where she is."

We couldn't find her. Anywhere. 

ANYWHERE. 

After we'd searched every hiding place in the house, we still couldn't find her. 

All of the worst things were going through my head now. We tore apart every bed. Threw open every drawer and closet door. Exploded every laundry pile. We yelled her name in every corner. Nothing. Not a sign. Not a trace. How could we lose a child in our house? We never heard any doors open, but could she have somehow gone outside? Surely she wouldn't go into the dark rainy abyss. I started feeling really sick and imagined someone taking off with her right from our home. What did the perp look like? What kind of car? What was she wearing? I wouldn't be able to explain any of it. I didn't know how we would explain this to the police, but I pictured the headlines and we have never been so close to calling them. 

Absolutely frantic, I went back into our bedroom and threw the covers off of our bed (where I was just laying moments before). 

This child. There she was, sleeping soundly - angelically even - fully covered in our blankets. 

She went upstairs and thought it would be fun get under our covers and hide so we'd be surprised to find her when we got into bed. Before we had a chance to find her, she fell asleep fully covered in blankets and had sunk in to the memory foam mattress a little, which is why I didn't notice her RIGHT NEXT TO ME as I laid in bed. Even my husband looked through our room three times and under the bed. We moved her, as she slept soundly never realizing that we almost called in the troops for her return. We praised JESUS over and over and over and I consider it a lesson learned. 

Sometimes our blessings come in ways unexpected, friends. Sometimes they are hard days and things that are there to teach us patience, mercy, forgiveness, etc. And, sometimes, they are right beside us and we get SO caught up in panic and mis-trust that we don't even notice them. I am STILL praising the Lord this morning that our child wasn't really missing. We are going to spend the morning doing some fun projects together and loving one another intentionally! 

Blessings are all around you, friends, and some may be unexpected and closer than you think. 

I guess I'm feeling a little...

Content? Could I possibly feel content? Do I even know what that feels like? For an entire decade, I went from "dream" job to "dream" job and yo-yo diet to yo-yo diet, anxiety attack to anxiety attack and I was always sick, out of time, stressed out, and always complaining...you get the picture. I had all these plans and ideals about what life was supposed to look like; what rung I was supposed to be clenching on the corporate ladder; how much more education I should have under my belt - certifications, degrees, accolades, etc. But, I never felt good about it. I kept hitting speed bump after speed bump. Then, a few years ago, something changed. The Lord threw out the stop sticks.


I felt and overwhelming sense of need to be still, and patient. To look at everything God had laid out before me and take care of that, and that alone, while waiting and praying about what's next. It felt amazing to be simply, yet extravagantly, marked by grace instead of degrees or other worldly accomplishments.


BY GRACE I was ready and able to begin staying at home with our (then) three kids and soon to be four (no one was more surprised about this than me). SO MUCH has changed since then and people often ask me how I do it. It's easy. It's so much easier than when I was trying to make these plans for myself. Three simple words, trust and obey. 

I didn't know I was going to be expecting a fourth baby at the same time I felt and overwhelming call to leave my career (and insurance) to stay home with our kids.

I didn't know how to balance cooking, cleaning, child rearing, and being the wife of a business-owner.

I didn't know about the substantial loss that was coming through to us: through deaths, relationships, and miscarriage - and that overwhelming grace heals us and allows us to go on.

I didn't know I would be healthier at 32 than almost every year of my 20s.

I didn't know that I'd be happily writing a blog about life and health, with no profit, instead of making big bucks as a corporate writer.

I didn't know I would be setting-up to homeschool four littles this school year. (I'm pretty sure I said I would NEVER do this, yet I'm thrilled about the opportunity now).

I didn't know that just working to trust and obey, every day, could be so much more fulfilling than any plans I've ever made for myself.

He carries us, every single time! Realizing that God's Will reigns over all allows us to experience incredible contentment. And, for that, I am SO thankful.

Keep Calm and Eat Clean...

I've been a rather inconsistent blogger over the last few months; We've had so much
activity going on with our family, with our business, and with our kids that some things just have to take the back burner. It took me a long time to learn that, but priorities have to stay in place or else chaos ensues. Right? I know you know. :) I really, truly, feel that I'm called to minister to people who have had the same struggles that I've had with over-eating and sugar addiction. So, this blog carries on!

In the lull of what was quite possibly the LONGEST WINTER OF MY LIFE - having never ending snow and ice, a death in the family, sickness after sickness for each member of our family, and a miscarriage a couple months ago (I may post on that at a later date), I found myself back in a series of bad eating habits. I KNOW from experience that binge eating is not how I deal with these things (anymore), so I cut myself off at the pass and am now back to clean eating (down 10 lbs in about a month!). It feels SO good to make healthy decisions after experiencing so many repeated trials - or even one trial. Amen?

I wanted to tell you about a few yummy things I've been loving lately. If you're ready to get back to clean eating, here are a few ideas to get you started!

Zoats! Oh my word. You need to Google these! This is oatmeal + zucchini. I mix mine with 1TB pure maple syrup (maple syrup is considered clean) and top with sliced strawberries. It's true, zucchini doesn't have *much* nutritional value. It is a source of vitamins, but mostly importantly it's a Low-GI food that acts as a clean filler for your oats. If I eat a plain bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, I'm ready to start gnawing on my hand by mid-morning.

Omelets. After several attempts at making an omelet the way I thought one would make an omelet, I finally YouTubed some omelet tutorials (I know, I never would have survived at everyone's favorite Little House on the Prairie). My favorite (clean) way to make these (whilst conserving calories) is: 2 egg whites (get the liquid whites so you don't waste eggs), 1 whole egg, 1/4 cup feta cheese, 1oz of ham (I like Boar's Head because I think it has fewer preservatives than others, onion, garlic powder, sea salt and crushed red pepper. SO SO good.

Salad. With chopped red bell peppers. I don't know WHY I've never added these peppers to my salads before, but they add interest AND color. I do love color. I usually make a salad like this: living lettuce or romaine, english cucumber, bell peppers, thinly sliced white onion, and 1TB Bragg's organic vinaigrette. SO good!! Eat that along side your omelet and you'll be in for a tasty lunch.

Hot Tea.  For the most part, I try not to drink my calories (maybe an occasional coffee these days or a chai latte, but my calories are rarely consumed this way). Hot tea is a perfect morning or midday pick-me-up and if you detox from sugar, you can totally drink it straight with no sweetener. I love: TAZO zen and wild orange. Also, I love a good earl gray and sleepytime for evening.

Chicken Burgers. There's something about warm weather that makes me want a burger EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I picked these up at Costco yesterday and I've had two since. They are AMAZING. Sometimes I think I could be a vegetarian, and then I find something like this. They are seriously so good - 150 calories and 19 grams of protein. How about that? Yum!!

Quinoa Cakes. I'm sure these could be made at home, but I found Cedarlane's Baked Spinach Quinoa Cakes at Costco yesterday and they are also - guess what - AMAZING. They are 50 calories each 3g of protein and 100% YUM. If you have a Costco nearby, you should totally run there and pick these up. I had them as a side dish (next to my chicken burger) for lunch today. Better than losing my mind to a bag of chips, right?!

Quest Bars. I'm going to leave you with my absolute FAVORITE treat. These little pieces of joy are pricey $2+ ea, but GNC usually has buy 3 get one free and they are TOTALLY worth it. If we're at a party and there's cake being served, a Quest bar is a direct substitution for me. Then, there's no chance I'm going to cut myself an extra big piece, go back for seconds, or eat ALL the icing that's left around the edge of the cake tray. (I have issues with cake). I also love these when I'm craving a cookie, chocolate or other baked good. They truly are delicious. Check out these flavors: Cookie Dough, Cookies & Cream, Lemon Pie, Cinnamon Roll, PB&J and Coconut Cashew. If you look at Quest Nutrition's page on FB or Instagram, you'll also see recipes you can make using these amazing treats.

What are some of your favorites lately? Let me know!

Keeping a Diary

For Christmas, our 7 year old desperately wanted a diary, with a lock. As much as I didn't want to get her one - because that means she's edging dangerously close to tween instead of my baby girl - I know how it is. We got her one anyway. I always kept a diary or journal of sorts. Looking back, the purpose of my journaling wasn't to devise a grand scheme against the universe or to conceal dark truths, I wrote as a way of organizing thoughts; planning; recording; reflecting. Those are all really good and constructive skills to have. Over the years, this very blog has acted as a journal of sorts and I'm thinking of adding a new (pictorial) chapter to it.


If you've been reading along with me a while now, you know I have a deep-seated struggle with using food as medication instead of nutrition. Some stress-inducing times ensued, recently, and I gained about 10lbs. I've come too far to do this and thankfully, I know how to turn this horse and buggy around. I'm not making any grandiose plans to cut dairy, gluten, wheat, fat, and all other sources of flavor. That's unreasonable for me. I do know how to eat clean and the two items below will help me do just that...

1.) Grace. The Lord is bigger than any burden I have and when I have that urge to binge, I need to conscientiously PRAY and nourish my body with scriptural truths instead of a pixie stick.

2.) Accountability. I do SO much better when I have enlisted accountability folks asking how things are going; who are positive influences; and who will encourage me to continue on the right path - even if I don't know them personally. It just helps to be part of a team. Accountability works! It's why things like Weight Watchers; Advocare; Beach Body; and My FitnessPal thrive! These apps and groups all encourage you to write what you bite and work through your diet and exercise routines with friends/coaches.

To me, eating well isn't just about being a few pounds lighter (anymore, anyways). It's about properly caring for what God gave me. When we choose to abuse our bodies with food, drugs, or alcohol, we are really just incinerating the temples that God built especially for us to do His work. I wouldn't burn a brick and mortar temple, would you? Why would we do that to our own bodies that were made for so much more than an inanimate building? We have work to do, believing friends, and we need to keep our minds and bodies healthy to do that work. 

Additionally, I'm not wasting my weaknesses. God gave me this weakness, sugar addiction; but, He also gave me a voice as a writer; I'm putting two and two together in hopes of reaching out to others. He casts light out of darkness - all. the. time.

SO, here's the next chapter. I created a Pinterest board called "food journal in pictures." I'm posting photos of every meal (I take photos of basically everything I eat anyway, ask anyone who follows me on social media). Please follow along for accountability AND for clean meal ideas. I'll be posting everything - good and bad - but hopefully there are mostly good things there and you can get some clean eating ideas as well. :) http://www.pinterest.com/dailyupsnpounds/food-journal-in-pictures/.

Wishing you all a very healthy new year!

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, - I Cor 6:19 (ESV). 

When things get ugly.

Look for the beauty marks. Apart from Christ, I'm a huge pessimist. Can you believe that? On this very blog, I often write about seeing good come from bad; I have often counseled others to look on the bright side and stay there. But, without GRACE, I wouldn't be able to do that. There's SO much bad in this world that I could easily be an unhappy, sulking, pity-party throwing soul - every. darn. day. My glass wouldn't only be half-empty, it would be thrown across the room in disgust. Yeah, I just said that. The older we get, the more difficult times seem to appear before us. Just when we think we've had our fill, and we've seen our share, it seems that something comes up again. Doesn't it? As someone who has a history of anxiety, I have to make a conscious effort NOT to fall into a defeating pattern of anxiety and doubt when these things happen around me, but to remember that God who's faithful when everything is right, is the very same God who is faithful when difficult times abound. Satan is always at work, believing friends. He wants to see us down and discouraged, but we must put on the full armor of God and fight back.

By GRACE, though, we can look for the beauty mark in each situation. We can look for the possibility of redemption for people involved or close by. I LOVE a good redemption story, don't you? We can look for positive situations that evolved out of bad ones; We can look for signs of roadblocks and u-turns founded by grace that may not have been there if the situation happened another way.

You and I, believing friends, have to be willing to see that God is good, even when we are uncomfortable with His plan. We have to be willing to see that God's mighty hand is at work in even the most desperate and trying situations. We must have hope. He can turn anything around and make it beautiful. Most importantly, He will triumph over all.

This song has been on my heart lately and I truly believe the words it says. He makes beautiful things out of dust, indeed. I pray you believe that, too.

PS. The tortilla soup rocked. That is all.

When the big picture falls off the wall and shatters...

So, yesterday I decided that I was going to take our family photos (read: tripod and self-timer and an entire family that will not be still for a group photo). It was sure to be a fun time, really. Since I regularly photograph other families, I should have no problem photographing my own, right? I know the photog tricks, right? I know how to capture the details; pick the perfect lighting; adjust my settings; set-up my tripod AND set the self-timer.

Yeah. My worlds were colliding yesterday and my MomTog powers were quickly failing. My mother-in-law, who is an amazing artist herself, stepped in to help on the shutter button so at least the tripod and self-timer factors were eliminated - opening our photo session up for a little better chance at success. However, despite my mother-in-law's valiant efforts (and she did well), our children are 1, 3, 5, and 7. They had no interest in sitting still for a group photo.

In fact, most of our shots came out this way.

I was getting frustrated and, finally, gave the official mother's siren of surrender, "OH, NEVERMIND." We'll do this another day (another day five years from now, perhaps).

Do you ever feel that way? You've used your precious brain space to architect the details of what's to occur; you've taken time, effort, and a whole lot of sweat and grass stains to get there and, in an instant, everything just seems to fall apart? The walls crumble. The rocks slide. It's a wash.

I was starting to feel that way. Frustrated, I flung my camera strap back over my head and the children scattered all over the yard. Three of them ran to the swings and the baby started crawling through leaf piles, quickly dirtying the fall outfit that I'd picked - so carefully - for our photo session. A few deep breaths and I started doing what I usually do, photographing the kids having fun and enjoying life.

Then I thought of something; when I photograph families, we may do the obligatory milestone family shot, but 99% of the photos I take are of life, as it happens. I want to capture actual memories being made, not just children sitting quietly in a carefully arranged huddle, with wide grins and hands folded on their laps. In real life, families don't behave that way. So, why make such a fuss to capture that?

My original plans may have been foiled by wiggling kids, but I think the Lord had a bigger plan for me yesterday.

Because of my wiggling children, I was able to capture this:

And this

Our kids will remember their precious time with grandom; they will remember dad giving them underdogs on the swing-set; they will remember getting muddy in the grass. Yesterday, I was reminded that life is more than just a pretty picture - it's the details that matter.

And the LORD presented this lesson that I seemingly have to learn, time and time again. HE knows each of our days. He knows how our lives are going to shake out. He owns the details. So, while we fiddle and fuss over something that may not have happened our way, remember the details, the learning experiences, the lives touched and the hearts surrendered. Remember that every breath and beat of our heart has been carefully orchestrated by HIM. I'm re-assured by those things, when "my" plans don't work out. How about you?

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  

Seems like an appropriate time to leave you with one of my favorite quotes. "Remember this, had any other condition been better for you than the one in which you are, divine love would have put you there." -C.H. Spurgeon. 

Amen..and amen...and amen.

Nine years? Really?

Guess what, guys, yesterday the hubs and I celebrated our nine-year wedding anniversary. NINE. I realize it's not a golden or silver year or anything, but, darn it. Nine years sounds like a whole heckofalot more than eight. Amen? Last night we gorged ourselves with Chicken Bellagio and Red Velvet Cheesecake on our first child-free date in a year, while recalling the past few years of life together.

Me: "Nine years? What the heck happened?"
Hubs: "We blinked."
Me: "Yeah. Yeah, that must be it."

I mean...when you have four children, two houses, a slew of jobs, about twenty-five cars and then start your own businesses whilst digging in your heels to make it all sync up, time has a way of passing quickly. Very quickly.

Though the years have seemingly escaped us without notice, I can look back and see where we've grown and learned a lot in that time. Following six years of dating - including 10 months of engagement - we got married at age 22. After dating someone for six years, you kind of figure the expectations for marriage and doing life together will be clear. Smooth sailing, right?

Guess what.

There's still plenty to learn, and screw up. In fact, I can only speak for myself here, but I've learned more about marriage in years seven and eight than all those preceded. How? I took my focal point off of the world's expectations and locked it in on Christ, and what he expects from me as HIS daughter and my husband's wife and my kids' mom. I've been taking more Bible time, more prayer time, more praise time, and more repentance time. As my daughter's very wise kindergarten teacher told her at the end of the school year, "if you don't read your Bible, you won't grow." So simple, so true.

It's only through Christ's infallible grace and lordship that we can show selflessness, love, submissiveness, tenderheartedness, a quiet spirit and joy in all things (good and bad) to our husbands, ladies. These things don't come naturally to our crooked hearts. Our innate rottenness can be overcome by Him and we can be made new! It's only through grace that we can realize contentment and joy when things don't go our way, and also when they do. It's only through grace that we can realize our husbands are imperfect beings, such as ourselves, and not put on earth to be our saviors, our little gods. It's only through grace that our marriages can grow and prosper and that we can realize what a blessing each day is, knowing that we are never promised our next breath. The finest blessing yet, though, is to realize that none of this depends on OUR ability in this fallen world; Christ is sovereign and in all things, He is good, very good, and we must trust in Him.

Verses to reflect on:

• Proverbs 31
• I Cor 13
• Proverbs 12:4
• Ephesians 5:22-23

Nasty storms and million dollar houses. Let's learn from this.

If you've known me for more than a second, you have most likely learned that I'm terrified of severe weather. It could have something to do with the fact that I watched Wizard of

Oz every single day for a few years of my childhood; or, it could be that I'm a little bit OCD and big freak-nasty storms that I can't do anything about (except go hide) make me feel out of control and anxious; and, well, like I'm going to throw up. I'll do just about anything I can to get away from a storm. Today was no different.

I was headed down the highway when I saw some ominous clouds looming up ahead. I had the opportunity to exit the highway right then and take an alternate route (which would get me away from said scary clouds). So, off the highway we went. I was driving peacefully for a good 10 minutes or so when it started to rain. After a few more minutes, the rain was really pouring down and, as my heart rate was increasing, I was giving myself a pep-talk. It went something like this, "Suck it up. It's not the end of the world, just rain. You're 31. Keep driving and don't freak out." So, I drive on and guess what happens next...

I. Can't. See.

The rain was coming down so hard that I couldn't see a foot in front of me. So, I quickly pull off the road (into a neighborhood with million dollar houses, btw). Awesome. I'm getting flustered and can't stop thinking about what I'd do if I had to find some place to take shelter and none of these people are home because they're all doctors and lawyers and such. I really was expecting this spring rainstorm to turn into total devastation, I think. The rain calms down after a minute; I pat myself on the back for surviving and we start to drive again. No sooner do I get back out to the main road, I start getting hailed on. ARE. YOU. SERIOUS. At this point, I have the snow globe effect going on in my head. Do I stop the car? Do I go find someone? Do I haul all the kids out? Is there a tornado creepin' up us? I was just losing control (in my head). After another couple minutes, the hail subsided and the rain tapered off for the most part. I drove on, and started thinking.

Driving through a storm is a lot like God's will for our lives. I saw something unpleasant coming during my drive and turned from it. I thought I had control; alas, God wanted me to learn a lesson and TRUST in Him that it would be okay. I thought I could make the drive by going another direction; then I couldn't see; then I got confused and when I thought it was getting better, I got hailed on! Then, don't you know, God cleared up the sky and took away the rain when He wanted to; in His perfect timing! Isn't going through one of the Lord's lessons JUST LIKE THAT sometimes? And, as we know, sometimes the best lessons learned come from the toughest challenges endured. So, my friends, sometimes God puts us through things to bring us closer to Him; to build that relationship of trust, of tough love. All I can say, is use it as a chance to learn and praise him. Always, always, praise Him. All things are good, even the nasty storms.

I went outside, and lived to blog about it.

If you know me even a little, you probably know that I'm an indoors girl. If I'm outside, it's for a reason (e.g., walking to and from the car, taking a walk, taking photos, going to a BBQ or because I locked myself out of the house [again]). I can't remember ever liking outside. I've been swarmed and stung by an entire nest of yellow jackets; I've had more tick bites and random bee stings than I can count; I've fallen out of a tree onto my back; I've leaned up against a trashcan only to have my skin covered in fiberglass particles; I've busted up my face on a patch of ice; a big snake snuck into our bunks at girl scout camp; birds have crapped on my clothing; a bicyclist ran me off the bike path while I was roller-blading; I've been tossed from seat to floor while going over rough waters on a boat and I can't stand amusement parks. That's a whole other story. I also don't care for weather too hot or too cold, I'm a 72 and sunny kind of girl. You see, in addition to my serious environmental allergies (all trees and grass and basically anything that blooms), there's really no reason for me to be outside. It's just an accident waiting to happen.

Alas, I have four little darlings that want to go out. And, as much as I would love to just read books, cook food, and play house all day turning them into little hermits like myself - I have to put my selfish desires aside and go...out there. It's uncomfortable for me to be outside; and, I'm awkward (at best) pretending to navigate the great outdoors well, but I do it anyway. You know, for them. For those little people who are clawing at the door - ready to go play - as soon as the sun comes up.

Yesterday, we took a hike with my mother-in-law, Willing Cook and her crew. As we treked through the wilderness, I couldn't help but think how (to me, anyway) hiking through the unsteady terrain, hopping muddy waters (and occasionally getting my foot stuck) and carefully darting around throrn bushes can also be like our walk as followers of Christ.

You see, friends, when we follow Christ, we aren't guaranteed a bed of roses. Sometimes we walk a thorny path of challenges and struggles. Sometimes we do have opposition, persecution, and uncertainty smacking us in the face. We often find ourselves stepping over barbed wire, pushing branches out of the way, and dirt out of our mouths. Much like my quest outdoors, though, we have to step aside our innate desire to seek self-fulfillment. We have to trust in Jesus, and Jesus alone, when those times happen. One of my biggest daily challenges, in my walk with Christ, is forcing myself to step aside and know that He has it all figured out. Maybe that's yours, too?

I can't help but think that He's using my children to help separate me, from myself. I can't help but think that He uses the little mundane details of life, like wearing my baby through some muddy trails while chasing after another, to humble me; to separate me from myself; to make me more like Him.

Phil. 4:13 - I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Having challenges and struggles? Please let me know how I can pray for you.

PS. This post is linked up with Ruth and all the wonderful bloggers at GraceLaced.com. Please go visit each of their blogs to read more AND be sure to congratulate Ruth on her new baby - her 6th boy!!

I'm gonna sue you, norovirus!

Ok, so we're not the suing type. One day last week, in a state of total grossed outness and frustration, I actually told my husband that I'd like to sue the stupid stomach virus that leached on to our family, if I could. Of course, I can't. So, let's blog about it instead, shall we?

Yes, let's.

So, we know all sorts of people who've had this dag gone thing. My friend Jenny's family had it for A MONTH! It's accounted for about a dozen canceled play-dates and it needs to go on and get lost already! I somehow thought we got a get-out-of-noro-free pass with all the other crud that ran through here this winter; alas, it started with the three-year-old, who had never thrown up before.

That's always fun.

She started in the middle of the night and was fine seconds later, of course. The next child - our baby - was also in the middle of the night almost on cue every couple hours. In all seriousness, having a sick infant is really traumatic on a mama. After that, it was the oldest who got sick (without warning, mind you) moments after we walked into the grocery. Blue light special, right over here. Next, our poor boy. He had a a mild case and kept it all contained for us. He's sweet like that.

Then, mama got a vicious case of it.

I was sick for several days; it was horrible. That is all.

Then, the hubs got it.

He's been a total trooper.

Alas, God is good, right?? Most of spring break may have been consumed by vomit and clorox, but
we're making it through! Every time I began to get fussy about our situation, I tried to turn it around to a praise instead. I have to remind myself about 500 times on any given day not to be negative. I'm working on it. Here are some things I came up with. Hopefully you'll see that even the worst situations are for God's good. Maybe we got down with the noro because we really needed some humbling to happen? Who knows. But, here's what I do know:

Praise God for...

1. Our working washer and dryer. This past week would have been incredibly difficult without it!
2. The new water heater we got a week or two before. Hot water is a necessity for all those clean-ups!
3. The strength to fold and put away all that laundry!
4. Healing! Norovirus is horrible, but we're pulling through!
5. The fact that we weren't vacationing in Florida, where we originally planned to be. Wouldn't THAT be something fierce. We had too much going on and canceled our trip a few weeks beforehand.
6. A lesson in humility. If holding you child's hair as she vomits repeatedly on the grocery store floor as folks pass by isn't a lesson in humility...I'm not sure what is.
7. Extra clean kids! Lots of baths and showers last week!
8. Our oldest being home on break (not having to miss school) and being able to help occupy the non-sicklings when she wasn't sick and others were.
9. Grandparents that occupied the older children when mommy was getting sick and hallucinating about tornados, cheddar bay biscuits and double rainbows. I told you this virus is wack! 
10. My husband's flexible schedule. He was able to help so much.
11. A surge in nesting power. Nothing makes you want to clean the house and push all the laundry through like a week of sickness. Our house is (almost entirely) super clean! Still finishing a few rooms and laundry. :)
12. Nice weather at the end of the week! It wasn't a total loss. We got to a museum, park, and family get together.
13. Support and prayers from other friends who have been in this situation.
14. The opportunity to spend extra time with the kids - reading, snuggling up, and relaxing (as much as possible) instead of running a million different directions.
15. A break from social media. I just couldn't stomach the food pics.
16. Most importantly, assurance from our Lord that all things are good - even when they may seem not so good at the moment.

That's all, guys! Hope you're staying healthy. :)

PS. Today I'm linking up with Ruth at GraceLaced.com. Go check out her beautifully written blog as well as the others who are linking up with more Grace Laced posts. :)

Get out of that funk and in the word!

You know, I'm generally a pretty happy person. I'm one of those irritating folks that wakes up happy and can run on about 30 seconds of sleep a day for many days straight without wigging out. One day last week, though, I felt the grouch coming on. I was getting a little cabin fever, fed up that it's still freaking freezing here, irritated that we still have to wear socks and coats every time we go outside and that the kids and I have had one illness after the other for the last six weeks. Six weeks, not exaggerating. By the end of the day, I was tired of being cranky and tired of myself. Just being honest, you know.

I knew I couldn't wake up in the same rare-form again the next day; so, I prescribed myself some Bible time, then early to bed. Sometimes we're like little kids that don't want to take our medicine, you know? It can be a struggle to sit down and take it when we need it most, but the Word of God is full of truths that make us well again - emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Followers of Christ know this, but often resist. I can think of other times when I felt anxious or agitated and, of course, the ultimate answer was seeking counsel through prayer or just studying the Word. It works every. single. time. Soooo...now that I'm getting older wiser, I think I'll start taking more "preventative medicine" and getting serious about seeking opportunities to soak in the word, and share it all throughout the day. I truly think surrounding ourselves with the word makes for a better day, everyday. I know what you're thinking - "I have a dozen children to chase, how can I get more Bible time?" or "I work 12hrs a day, I can't even see straight by the end of a shift!" 

Here are a couple ways to get into the Word other than just scheduling time to do it (though that's a great idea, too):

• Keep Bibles all around. How about the car (when you're a passenger - don't read and drive); the family room; your desk at work; the kitchen table; your night stand; an e-version on your phone, iPad, or iPod; or in the bathroom (don't act like you don't read in there!).
• Download Devotional apps. I like the John Piper (Desiring God) and Ravi Zacharias (RZIM) apps.
• Read Devotional books. I'm currently into Breaking Free by Beth Moore (love her!); I hope to follow that with Basic Christianity by John Stott. You can pick up scripture there and get some application, as well.
• Get audio versions. Bible, sermons, or books - there's audio versions abound. You can put your earbuds in and listen away. Great for passing time walking the dreadmill!

And, finally, I think it's always important to pray about what you're reading. Ask God to show you how His Word is relevant in your life and how you can use it to glorify Him. 

Hebrews 4:12 ~ "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."

Mommy needs a time-out.

Ok, you guys, I've heard this come up in conversation among my friends a couple times recently so I'm guessing that a blog post on the topic won't be useful to just me. We'll see. 

Here's the deal. Day after day, I have to remind my children that they need to clean up their rooms, put their things away, work on their lessons, etc. before getting into their iThings. However, while mommy blogs away, facebooks, tweets, pins, and photographs and her room remains in disarray and the dirty clothes piles grow taller than the two-year-old. For the longest time, I thought "this is my outlet." We don't socialize much without our kids in tow, so I kind of wrote off these little visits to the interwebs as "me time" (I really dislike that term, btw). When my frustration increased about the pile of dishes or the load of clothes waiting to be folded, I remembered something. If it doesn't get done, it's because I'm not doing my job. That's right, I said my job. If I worked an 8-5 and let my projects fall behind, I'd get fired. So, why should homemaking be any different? My work needs to glorify God no matter where I am! Just because I don't punch a clock doesn't give me an excuse to slack. While God can most certainly be glorified by things of the interwebs (including time spent researching (aka pinning) homemaking ideas), it's often time wasted. So, with those thoughts, I've changed the way I do things around here.

I'm not an award-winning housekeeper by any means (in fact, it's one of those things I have prayed to have a better heart for!), but I try to set some limits for myself. I make sure my urgent tasks are done (obviously, laundry will never be done unless someone goes naked. The dishes will never all be sparkling and put away), but I make sure that we're pretty presentable at a moment's notice and the main things are finished before I get lost in the interwebs. Just like I have our Kindergardener trade 20 minutes of reading time for 30 minutes of screen time, I allow myself a Facebook break once XYZ (usually laundry and dishes) are done.

Even if you're a domestic misfit, like me, that doesn't excuse you from taking care of your home and your family before doing other things. I am one of the biggest mess-makers I know. I could write it off as a right-brainer thing; a left-hander thing; an only-child thing; a tired-mom thing, but all-in-all, it's a heart thing; it's a spiritual thing; it's a faith thing; it's an example to my children thing; it's a Titus 2 thing and a Proverbs 31 thing; it's a discipling thing. It's something I need to work on, pray about and will hopefully get better at. And, it's something that I must do to glorify God and to be a good example to my children. Even if I'm not good at it. It's important. So, go on and x-out of this screen and get to work. That's where I'm headed.

Proverbs 22:6 ~  Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

PS. This post is listed on the Time Warp Wife's Titus2sday blog link-up. Please head over to Darlene's site to check out all of the awesome blogs linked up today!

Yes, we are crazy. Crazy blessed.

Nine years ago, when I was getting ready to graduate from college and get married, I thought about all the darling business casual outfits I could buy with my first paycheck. I was going to be spending a lot of time with Ann Taylor, for sure! Looking back, I realize how much has changed in that short amount of time.

Just this afternoon I lifted our 7 month old's rear-end up to my face to see if her lunch had come through the other end yet. As I wrinkled my nose at another dirty diaper, she laughed hysterically (apparently it's funny when someone else smells your butt) and I noticed the spit-up I was wearing on my sleeve, and on my yoga pants (not from Ann Taylor - btw), and probably somewhere else I haven't seen yet. Instead of being repulsed at the dirty diaper smell lingering in my nostrils or the baby barf decorating my Old Navy thermal, I hugged on the baby, kissed her face, laughed with her and pondered the awesomeness and unpredictability of God's plan for our lives. All of our lives.

I smiled at the thought...the thought that nine years ago, I would have never told you I'd be smelling butts and wearing regurgitated breast milk, pears and apples for a living. I could have never told you that I could survive on a few hours sleep many nights in a row, commit myself to a never-ending pile of laundry, scrub dishes three times a day only to turn around and have another pile ready first thing in the morning, or have such a close relationship with my crockpot.

I also could have never told you what an incredible blessing all that is.

We knew we wanted babies, but we could have never told you that beyond the baby shower, it ain't all rosy, kids. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of sacrifice. It's a lot of germs, laundry, meltdowns in public (don't act like your kids haven't done it), butts smelled, noses wiped, toddlers chased and dirty diapers disposed of.

It's also a lot of love, comfort, and joy and a million other lovely things and feelings.

No matter what stage of life you have children - young or old, planned or unplanned - they are an absolute miracle and they will change your life beyond anything you could possibly imagine or plan. I think that one of Christ's biggest lessons in humility is given to us through raising our children. I also think that He uses these children to refine our hearts and build our character; to teach us to love selflessly and to give effortlessly. He shows us so much sacrificial love and so we also love our children sacrificially, like Christ.

When we tell people about our flock, they often call us crazy. I am going to close by telling you that I agree. Yes, we are crazy. Crazy blessed.

Perseverance. This is real life, y'all.

This is me. Persevering. With some coffee.

So, I dropped off the blogosphere for a couple days there because one of our littles got sick. Like, the gross, middle of the night, stand by with a trashcan sick. After hitting negative sleep levels, wardening the well-children with orders to stay back 500 feet and and following the sick child around with a bottle of Clorox in one hand and a bottle of Tylenol in the other all day, I really didn't have the wherewithal to do much more. Alas, we're healthy (right) now; so, here I am! There are three things I did do, though. 1.) Pray. 2.) Stay on my diet (I'll tell you how this is relevant in a second), and 3.) Not freak out.

1. The day our girl woke up sick in the middle of the night was a long one. I'm pretty sure I prayed all night between tosses and turns. I prayed for her healing and for sickness to pass over this house and spare our other children (and us, too, btw, we hate throwing up). Staying close with God during a trial (big or small), is SO important to our spiritual and physical health. It's so easy to brush Him off and get caught up in the "poor me, I had to clean up vomit at midnight, lose sleep and wash my hands 500 times today" routine. You know?? We all do this. It's important to seek Him, still. I'm not just speaking specifically about having a sick kid, but with anything. We should seek Him in all things - big and small. We should seek Him when we don't know what to do and also when we do. I didn't know what was wrong with our kid, but I had to trust in Jesus that she'd be ok! We are strong through Him and He will help us get through! Persevere. 
   
2. I know you're wondering why staying on my diet is relevant to having a sick little. Well, I'll tell you. Much of my previous weight gain came from anxiety (a lot of the anxiety happened during my first three pregnancies, but I assure you...little 6-8lb babies are not why I had 70 some pounds to lose). Let me tell you. If there's one thing I super hate, it's having sick kids (like anyone, of course). It is a little stressful and tempting to slip back into an anxious state - especially when you have four of them and it could turn something fierce real fast! I could have turned to food for comfort at this time. I could have binged out on some tacos, burritos and nachos when we took the sick child to Taco Bell (Her request. I know. Bad idea, btw. #parentingfail #iknowhashtagsdontworkhere) the next day. I could have scarfed the heavily-frosted sugar cookies she got to share with her class. But, through Him, I was able to persevere.  Praise God! He does these things, you know? I know from past experience that it just takes a little anxiety to consume about 8,765 calories too many and fall off that blasted wagon. Persevere. 
3. Thankfully, you guys, I didn't freak out. I did wash my hands a lot (but I think that was okay, given the circumstances), I did come in contact with gross germs (this is serious for an OCD-prone person); I prepared myself for what would happen if all of the rest of the littles got sick, I did not go hide under my bed covers; and, I did my job as mom, the job God gave me. Persevere. 

So, all is well. Our family is healed and just in time for the baby to poop ALL. OVER. MY. PANT-LEG. (and her outfit and up her back) while we were visiting brand new friends for the first time (and had no diapers or change of clothes with us). Life goes on friends, be it something monumental or poop on your pant-leg, seek Him and just persevere.

This post is linked up to Grace Laced Mondays, and Better Mom Mondays Hop on over to to those awesome sites to see who else is sharing.

Blessed with insomnia.

Ok, I know that sounds weird. And, often, the weirdest of weird blog ideas are born near midnight. However, I think this may lead to a point, so stick with me...

I'm still awake, recounting the day in my head and enjoying a little quiet time while my family sleeps. This is a much-needed unwinding time for me now as it's just been non-stop all day. I got to thinking, though, about a time when my sleeplessness was much less enjoyable. I had insomnia for quite a long time. For many months, I basically had two options: go to bed at 10pm and get up at 2am, or go to bed at 2am and get up at 6am with the rest of the world. At the time, I made jokes about how insomnia made me more productive because I truly did have more hours in the day. However, in all honesty, it became frustrating after a while.

I didn't know what was causing it. I couldn't stop it. I had a job to wake up and go to as well as kids and a husband that needed my full attention. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep like a normal human being. Looking back, I should have looked at those extra waking hours as a blessing. I could have used the time to be in prayer. I could have used those hours to bask in the Word. Instead, I used them to feel sorry for myself and to mumble frustrations about not being able to sleep. I should have looked to the Lord for relief - not to say that He would have given me a full 8hrs a night then and there - but at least I would have had that feeling of "rest" in Him.

Insomnia can be incredibly frustrating, I won't argue that. Though I didn't get it then, I'm thankful to get it now. If you're going through it, don't look at it as a punishment or a problem. Look it as extra time you get to spend praying to God and as a time to spend in the Word. Time to practice obedience and time to worship. Everything is indeed for His glory, even those extra waking hours that we may not desperately want.

^---

^{This post is listed on the Time Warp Wife's Titus2sday blog link-up. Please head over to Darlene's site to check out all of the awesome blogs linked up today!}

Back from the blog hiatus...

Aren't you thankful the Lord goes before us, always? I am. A week ago I heard a sermon about being tired and weary. I wasn't worn down just then, though I sure could relate to the feeling! As the week went on, I realized that the context of that sermon was SO for me. It's was just another example of how the Lord goes before us and prepares our hearts, priming us for what's to come.

In the time between that sermon and now - two of the kids and I had a week-long stomach bug. The neighborhood yard sale I'd been organizing started off on the hottest day of the year (close to 100 degrees) during which, the stomach bug continued and my ankles swelled to an unrecognizable state; I wish I were joking. We sweated through it and had a successful sale, but we were quite relieved to be finished. As soon as the sale was over, I got my terribly off-schedule children down for a rest. I thought to myself, "a break...finally." Um, wrong again.

About an hour-and-a-half into our "break" we heard the wind kick up a little. I didn't think much of it until the house started getting dark and the the power suddenly went out. No flicker, no warning, no idea a storm was coming - just sudden and total darkness. The kids and I scurried downstairs to find dark green, fast-moving clouds rolling through and big trees swaying from side as if they were feathers in the wind. The storm came and went and forty-some hours later after two nights of indoor "camping," enduring very hot temperatures with not so much as a breeze in the atmosphere, and a fridge and freezer full of spoiled food, our power came back on.

Though I was physically tired, and miserable, and weary, I knew my only relief would be to make a conscious effort to focus on Christ. I was thankful to be spiritually sound knowing He'd pull us through in His time.

How many times do we face storms like this amidst just when we're feeling great? Much like the storm that rolled through our community, sometimes in life's storms, there's no flicker, no warning, just sudden and prolonged darkness around us. We may feel like the trees at times, being tossed in every direction at the mercy of something much larger. If we're faithful, though, we focus on Christ. We look to Him in our struggles and realize that it's for His glory no matter how tired we grow. We can find rest in His plan no matter what's happening around us. For that, I am so thankful.

This post is linked up to Grace Laced Mondays, and Better Mom Mondays Hop on over to to those awesome sites to see who else is sharing.

For everything, there is a season.

Doesn't it always seem like once you have something figured out, it changes on ya? I've been a full-time stay-at-home-mommy for over six months now. It took some adjusting, ironing, and finagling, but in the last six months things we developed quite a system. Then, something happened...it's called summer, friends. I found out the first week hour of summer vacation that having three (soon four) children at home all day with no structure, no plan, and no clue what I was going to do about it could potentially (and quickly) throw me into a box of Oreos a day. However, I'm keeping faith here, people! A few weeks ago I looked at this as a challenge, but now I see that it's an awesome opportunity!

• It's an opportunity to gain some new skills that I never had time for when I was working - namely hands-on kid projects (and, ahem, tolerating the heat...we're still working on that one).
• It's an opportunity to meet other moms at kids' activities.
• It's an opportunity for my children to meet new friends as we venture out for summer activities.
• It's an opportunity for me to constantly put TRUST in Jesus that I can take three (soon four) children out in public without the help of my hubby and come back home unscathed. 
• It's an opportunity for me to spend more quality time with each one of the kids - enjoying each of their personalities and interests without the interruption of school work and school schedules.
• It gives me more opportunities to teach them about grace each day.
• It's an opportunity for me (and our whole family) to show Christian love to more people - through service and outreach - because we have more opportunities to do so during these months.
• It's an opportunity to play with them without the strict regimen of daily schedules and bedtimes set in stone. 

So, though it's totally different than any life I've had with the kids in the past, different is definitely good. With the addition of a new little one, there are sure to be more changes and challenges still, but sure enough, those opportunities will be revealed as well when we come to them! Thank you, Lord for this work, this lot, and these opportunities to be enjoyed! 

²² So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?

Run, run, run!

I know my last post was about being a terrible baker and, I promise this isn't going to turn into a self-loathing please-throw-me-a-pity-fest-blog, but I'm a pretty terrible runner, too. I want to love to run and, maybe the fact that I'm super pregnant and looking forward to running after the baby gets here is a sign that this form of torture exercise is growing on me, but it's definitely not my workout of choice. It's hard to get into, hard to build up endurance, hard to make my short legs move quickly, hard to breathe through my jackknifed nasal passages, and hard to keep at it; In all honesty, I'd rather just do another easy workout for thirty-minutes a day and get it over with even if it's no longer effective because it's the same routine I've done for the last 2,389 workouts prior.

Nonetheless, my inner-fit-girl thinks it's fun(ny) to register for 5K races. So, we run (walk...run/walk). We get the t-shirt. We promise we'll never do it again. And, we get sucked in and ultimately register again. Why, you ask? Why are you repeatedly doing something that's uncomfortable for you? Well, I'll tell you. It's good for me.

I compare running to the daily walk with Jesus. The day-to-day isn't always comfortable; sometimes we're in a position that we don't understand or that's difficult; and, sometimes, we just feel like doing the same old thing because it's safest and easiest. We fail to step out in faith when we're being called and we meander about in our own little comfort zones hoping for the best. Hopefully, we more often realize that challenges are good for us and will bring us closer to Him. All things we experience - comfortable or uncomfortable - are for the best when done for His glory! Stepping out in faith is an excellent exercise and should be practiced and built-upon all the time! And, it's good for me!

To put this picture in a nutshell... When I run, I am building strength, endurance, and improving my overall health. I am stepping out to do something that makes me uncomfortable, but is ultimately good for me. When we run full-speed with Jesus, no matter the hurdles, the outcome is like much like it is in running; He gives us strength, He gives us endurance, and we manifest a healthy relationship with Him.

If you need to take those first steps of faith today, friends, I'd love to pray for you on your journey! Send me a message or leave a comment below (so other readers can pray along) to let me know how to pray for you!