Do you even know who you are??

Here's something maybe like, one or two of you can relate to... 

When I was in my 20s, I was very career-minded. So career-minded, in fact, that I pretty much just worked, ate, and slept. Through college and early adulthood, I dumped all my hobbies; lots of friendships; and basically just put my nose to the grindstone day-in and day-out to bust out some goals and benchmarks and all that other corporate bologna. And, when I wasn't working, I was thinking about my next career move and my next degree - which never happened because every time I started a masters or licensure program, I ended up being pregnant again. I think God was trying to clue me in and I just wasn't getting it. At any rate, when I was so incredibly, unbelievably, amazingly please don't ever ever make me go back to work blessed to quit my job and the end of 2011...I came home to be with my kids, full-time! 

And pretty soon after my first day as a stay-at-home-mom, I was all..."What the crap am I going to do now?" I haven't been unemployed for more than a couple weeks time since I was SIXTEEN. Who. Am. I. 

What. The. Crap. 

And, when I say "what am I going to do?" I don't mean - "what am I going to do every day?" Though I did have a lot of make-up work to do when it came to full-time parenting. I mean, in the event that I do get second to sit down, what are my hobbies? What do I even like to do now besides drink coffee and wear yoga pants? I know. So basic. It had been SO LONG since I did anything besides work, I kind of really didn't know what to do with myself outside normal parental duties. 

More coffee, anyone? 

It was just a strange awakening of sorts and I had to re-figure out my interests. I love music, so my iPod was quickly filled with things to listen to. I started this blog because, duh, I paid a lot of money to get an English degree. Might as well use it. And then, one day, when my kids were doing some art projects at the kitchen table and instead of asking them, every five seconds, to mind their messes I sat down with them. I quickly remembered the hours and hours I spent while growing up (and I mean every day for hours) drawing to pass time or to wind-down. I noticed our oldest daughter's love for art - and she is really good at it! It felt great to encourage her as she created. My love for drawing came back seemingly at once. Our art closet was soon filled with notepads and pens and a bazillion markers and paints; trips to Michael's were many and my Pinterest boards were overflowing with ideas.

Zentangle drawing with Pitt Pens 

I absolutely love drawing. I love that it's something I can do to wind down and share with my kids as they wind down as well. We love creating together even if we are working on separate projects. There's just something about being in community, working alongside one another, and putting our imaginations on paper. The conversation is good. The outcome is always fun to see, analyze, and discuss. I love seeing what our kids come up with. It helps me understand them even better. We get to talk about all of the art-lovers in our family and all of the different kinds of art in the world. I'm not into sports and, at 33, there's really no chance of that changing. BUT, every one of our kids from the oldest to youngest loves art. I am so glad that's something we can share and do together. 

Zentangle with Pitt Pens and Prismacolor Markers

A lot of times, we have been in career-mode or mom-mode for SO LONG that we simply forget our own interests and who God made us to be. I'm not talking about having some mid-life independent woman freakout. It's not that at all. Remember the gifts you've been given and share those with your children! Let them see your abilities and how you work to improve; get them involved, too. It's a great way to tighten the parent/child bonds, promote community, discipline and it opens doors for communication as well. So, whatever your interests (so long as they are constructive and age-appropriate, that is) share them with your kids! Chances are, they will share some of the same and it will draw you closer, still. 

Free-style drawing and lettering with watercolor pencils and Pitt Pens. 

The word is pretty much out anyway...

Back when I started this blog in 2012, we were expecting baby #4. I had just made the transition from Corporate America to stay-at-home-mom. I never expected the Lord would lead me in that direction, but He did and being home with my children has been the biggest (surprising) blessing in my adult life! In fact, I am hanging on to this time as long as possible - because it is precious and it will be behind us before we know it. Last spring we experienced a first-trimester miscarriage. I have had such easy and uneventful pregnancies in the past and I really thought I wouldn't be able to handle that kind of loss. I thought I'd just vaporize into the atmosphere if something like that should happen. The Lord proved otherwise and showed His faithfulness once again. He extended absolute peace to our family during that time and allowed us to tell people about His love and sovereignty as a result of what we were experiencing. In turn, I was able to see His love through all of the people who were praying for us and taking care of us.

At the end of last school year, He put something new and unexpected on our hearts again! We felt lead to begin homeschooling our children. Homeschooling was another avenue way, way, way - I mean across the world - off my radar. I never felt capable, organized enough, grounded enough, focused enough... Alas, I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do and my husband agreed. I knew that the Lord would prove faithful once again and show us the way. So, we have been homeschooling since September. I have made so many great homeschooling friends and they have been a true blessing to our family. And now? There is more...

We are expecting #5. 

It seems that we've had a major life change every couple years for the last 10 years. It hasn't always been easy and I haven't always transitioned well or with a grateful heart; After learning to fully trust in Him, though, and know that He is always sovereign and He is always mighty, these transitions have become easier and easier as they go.

We are thrilled about #5, who is expected this spring. 

Please pray for us as our family transitions once again, during an especially busy season of life. We truly appreciate your prayers.

And, while we await #5's arrival...I hope to share some awesome recipes with you; my Costco faves (we JUST got a Costco store close by and it's my home away from home); some aromatherapy things I'm getting into and thoughts on homeschooling. :)

Happy time of Advent, friends. Hope you and your families are well. :)

And she dragged me, kicking and screaming.

So, I wasn't going to post today. I really didn't have anything spectacular to say and...honestly? I have a lot of messes going on at home lately. I have piles of clothes to be sorted; a homeschool room to be organized; toys to be purged; laundry to be laundered; children to be fed; PiYo to do; calories to be counted; toilets to scrub; prayers to be said; devotions to be done; and the list goes on and on...all the while the pool is calling my name for a couple more weeks. However, my TimeHop app sent me a picture today and it prompted the following thoughts.

A year ago, I hadn't been out with friends for about 18 months. When I mean "out with friends," I mean...like out, without kids. There wasn't really a reason I hadn't been out; I've never been a big Ladies-Night-Outer, I just got so consumed with everything going on around here (adjusting to life as a stay-at-home-mom of four after working outside the home, being pregnant, nursing a baby, taking care of the house and other kids, working it all around my husband's schedule, and sinking in to my own very comfortable routine of Facebook, blogging and photos, etc) that I didn't feel like taking the effort to get cleaned up and escape for a short while and go have a coffee, conversation and a little breathing room with friends. I just didn't feel like it. I didn't want to leave my routine and comfort zone.

However, I have a friend named Jenny, jennyitup, JRap.

Everyone should have a JRap.

She relentlessly harassed me to leave the house with her, for just a bit, and go have fun. (You should also know we were friends for like two years before this point). Now, if you know Jenny, you know she wasn't trying to get me to jump ship, get blindly drunk and max out the credit cards. She's just OLDER than me a seasoned wife and mom, also has a slew of kids, and she knows that a little time off in the right environment, for the right reasons, and with the right folks, is good. Everyone needs a time-out, right? We planned. And I'm pretty sure I got nervous and canceled twice (I'm not really sorry sorry, Jenny!!). Then she basically threatened me in the most Christian way possible.

So, we negotiated.

I told Jenny I would leave the house after the baby was in bed and if she picked me up. She obliged and we had coffee, chocolate and about a thousand laughs. It was a great boost and had me re-fueled for the next day. I'm pretty sure I texted her after to ask when we were going out the next time. So, one year later, we're still doing this. A few friends of ours all get together once every month-and-a-half or so and we just get together and breathe. and chat. and laugh. and eat food we don't normally eat. and get that breathing room that we all need, but so rarely make time for.

I love my husband and kids, so much, but I think a little breathe-time is good for all of us. It allows me to stop, collect thoughts and re-fuel while my husband and kids get a break from me can bond together, too! I've learned that going out doesn't make me a run-away mom, it just gives me an occasional time-out. Who would fight that?