And she dragged me, kicking and screaming.

So, I wasn't going to post today. I really didn't have anything spectacular to say and...honestly? I have a lot of messes going on at home lately. I have piles of clothes to be sorted; a homeschool room to be organized; toys to be purged; laundry to be laundered; children to be fed; PiYo to do; calories to be counted; toilets to scrub; prayers to be said; devotions to be done; and the list goes on and on...all the while the pool is calling my name for a couple more weeks. However, my TimeHop app sent me a picture today and it prompted the following thoughts.

A year ago, I hadn't been out with friends for about 18 months. When I mean "out with friends," I mean...like out, without kids. There wasn't really a reason I hadn't been out; I've never been a big Ladies-Night-Outer, I just got so consumed with everything going on around here (adjusting to life as a stay-at-home-mom of four after working outside the home, being pregnant, nursing a baby, taking care of the house and other kids, working it all around my husband's schedule, and sinking in to my own very comfortable routine of Facebook, blogging and photos, etc) that I didn't feel like taking the effort to get cleaned up and escape for a short while and go have a coffee, conversation and a little breathing room with friends. I just didn't feel like it. I didn't want to leave my routine and comfort zone.

However, I have a friend named Jenny, jennyitup, JRap.

Everyone should have a JRap.

She relentlessly harassed me to leave the house with her, for just a bit, and go have fun. (You should also know we were friends for like two years before this point). Now, if you know Jenny, you know she wasn't trying to get me to jump ship, get blindly drunk and max out the credit cards. She's just OLDER than me a seasoned wife and mom, also has a slew of kids, and she knows that a little time off in the right environment, for the right reasons, and with the right folks, is good. Everyone needs a time-out, right? We planned. And I'm pretty sure I got nervous and canceled twice (I'm not really sorry sorry, Jenny!!). Then she basically threatened me in the most Christian way possible.

So, we negotiated.

I told Jenny I would leave the house after the baby was in bed and if she picked me up. She obliged and we had coffee, chocolate and about a thousand laughs. It was a great boost and had me re-fueled for the next day. I'm pretty sure I texted her after to ask when we were going out the next time. So, one year later, we're still doing this. A few friends of ours all get together once every month-and-a-half or so and we just get together and breathe. and chat. and laugh. and eat food we don't normally eat. and get that breathing room that we all need, but so rarely make time for.

I love my husband and kids, so much, but I think a little breathe-time is good for all of us. It allows me to stop, collect thoughts and re-fuel while my husband and kids get a break from me can bond together, too! I've learned that going out doesn't make me a run-away mom, it just gives me an occasional time-out. Who would fight that?

There are just some things...

Mmmmm....salad.

That I refuse to stop eating. I've had this conversation with folks several times in real life, and friends have told me it's re-assuring, so here's the blog version.

Friend: "Sooooo, you don't eat processed foods or refined carbs, right? Now you don't eat meat either? What DO you eat (weirdo)?"

Me: "I eat a clean, un-processed, plant-based diet most of the time. BUT, here's the deal. There are just some foods I'm not willing to give up. If I did, I may never survive this clean eating lifestyle. I love clean foods, don't get me wrong. I love fruit, vegetables, unsweetened tea, Shakeology, brown rice and all that business. BUT...I also love not-so-healthy things, and eating them in moderation isn't wrong, as long as I get right back on track with the next meal."

Here' a list of some of those things on my list: 

Cherry Coke. It's been my favorite for as long as I can remember. It's extra good when it's made behind a bar with a fountain coke and some grenadine. You think? I think. I have maybe one a month, or less and I don't get a refill. Definitely not going to inhibit my clean eating lifestyle at that rate.

Pizza. For a variety of reasons, it would basically be sacrilegious for me to stop eating pizza. I love it. It loves me. I will eat any kind of pizza from the gourmet variety shown below to sick-nasty freezer pizza. I love it all. I even LOVVVVVE cauliflower crust pizza, which is clean! If I had to pick one meal to eat for the rest of my life, it would probably be pizza. Again, I usually only eat it on special occasions - birthdays, anniversaries or other parties.

Cherry Cordial Ice Cream from UDF. I'll be honest, when I started clean eating almost two years ago, I stopped eating dairy regularly. It wasn't intentional, it just sort of happened. Now, when I eat ice cream, it makes my stomach hurt. Sooooo....I reserve my ice cream indulgences for Homemade Brand (aka UDF) Cherry Cordial. Seriously - best ever - worth the hurt. Been my favorite for many o' years. Yes, my favorite ice cream comes from a gas station. S-U-E  M-E.

Oh, also? If you're going to do this, go get ice cream OUT. Yes, it's more expensive this way, but guess what...there's not a chance that you're going to take a box of ice cream to bed with you and be really super sorry the next morning when you wake up with a spoon glued to your face and an empty ice cream box on your bedside table. Just saying.

Donuts. If you've known me for more than thirty seconds, you know that I've never met a donut I didn't like. My favorite? I know you want to know. Boston cream aka bavarian cream aka long john, etc. I just can't even. I remember getting donuts with my dad so many times growing up. My husband and I used to go for donuts on Friday and Saturday nights, in college, and today I go on donut dates with two of my friends and all the kids. It doesn't happen often at all and I try to reserve these indulgences for special occasions; but, no, I won't turn down a donut. Ever. Don't even try to tell me they cause XY or Z. I'll keep eating them. Donut diva for life! 

Coffee. Yeah. If we go on vacation, the Keurig comes, too. Guess what guys, I have four kids. Having a cup of coffee is like my own personal Happy Hour. I even use that toxic candy flavored liquid creamer (but only a tablespoon). That's right, no shame. Try to pry this Starbucks cup out of my hot little hand, I dare ya'.

So, there you have it. Even hardcore foodies like me can survive the clean eating life. I've managed to lose 40+ pounds while still eating this crap every now and then. I try not to take "breaks" (unless I'm incredibly off the tracks and that's a topic for another post) and I don't take whole days off - just one "treat" meal one time a week.

So, go for it! Have that donut and then get back to your veggies. 

Grace, Peace, and Snow.

I wasn't always afraid to drive in the snow. It's something that started when I was pregnant with baby
number one and has never subsided - pregnant or not. A few years ago, when I was expecting number three, I had a major project due at at work on the same morning we woke up to a snowfall that had started over night. School was canceled for the kids, but I had to be at work to finish this job. My sister-in-law trekked over, sliding all over the place, to watch our children. When she arrived, I begrudgingly bundled up and headed out the door.

The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that my ginormous Ford Expedition would end up sliding off the road and I'd end up killing myself and others, too. In my head, I was hearing the news story about how my drive would end up. I was willing to drive 2mph the entire way as long as it meant that I'd be there safe. Unfortunately, I couldn't even do that. As soon as I reached the top of our neighborhood, I decided to go back home, even if it meant losing my job. I didn't care. I drove about half a mile down to find a safe turn around spot. By the time I reached the entrance of our neighborhood again, I was having a full-blown anxiety attack. One of the biggest I can remember. I turned left out of the straight lane. People were honking at me. I was feeling very faint and I couldn't think clearly at all. As I pulled down our street, I saw our daughter standing in our yard and the big Ford Expy started sliding all over the road. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't react. All I could think about was her running out into the road as I was sliding about. I was completely paralyzed by something that likely was in my head. It took me two hours to recuperate. And, yes, I finished the project at home and kept my job.

Ever since then, I've sworn off driving in the snow. Fast-forward to this morning. At the beginning of the school year, I volunteered to be a driver for our oldest daughter's field trip. She was so excited to have me come along and when we woke up this morning - though it's October and pretty much unseasonable - the snow was coming down. So, not only did I have to drive our children to school in these conditions - I also had to drive other people's children - which piled on the anxiety. I was a nervous wreck as soon as I saw the radar. I was hoping the trip would be canceled, so I called the school before I left the house. The trip was on; I was panicking.

I KNEW that I had to do it. I knew that succumbing to fear was the wrong thing to do. So, I loaded up the kids and we drove. As we pulled down the same road where I'd had the major anxiety attack before, my heart started racing. I felt my throat tightening. I could hardly swallow my Luna Bar for goodness sakes (those aren't clean, by the way). My wipers were going full-speed; I was driving slow and shusshing the children at even the slightest sound.

Then, this song pops into my head and I start to sing the chorus over and over again.

Then, I'm calm. Totally calm. The snow and rain slows and, the phone rings. 

It's the school. The trip is canceled. 

Deep breaths. 

Sometimes, I seriously think the Lord gives us challenges (big or small) just so we'll draw closer to Him. He knows my fears; He knows them very well and, He knows how to calm them. I obviously can't judge His intentions, but I think he had me in the drivers seat this morning so I'd remember who really drives my life in the sunshine and the snowfall. And, PRAISE HIM, I'm not the one doing the driving. I am thankful that He gives us comfort and shows us that He's truly there, in every circumstance. 

So, on the way home, I flipped on Grace & Peace - listened to it three or four times in a row - and went to Starbucks. :) 

Phil 4:6  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

We aren't even blonde (right now).

SO, you guys, I was super excited when Gevalia selected me to be one of their Chatterboxes. As a Chatterbox, I got to test out their new Cafe-Style K-Cups and tell the internet all about them. They sent me box of cappuccino to run through our Keurig and share with some friends. So, when the box showed up, I knew exactly which friend I was going to share it with first - the one who introduced me to Gevalia, of course! SO, Jenny and all her littles came over this morning to visit and indulge in some delicious Gevalia, perfect for this chilly fall day!

I'd already had one cup of coffee this morning (though totally not apparent by the string of events I'm about to share with you), so I took the old coffee out of the Keurig, as well as the entire plastic insert and reusable filter. Ahem. This is where bad things happened. I excitedly put a K-Cup in, and the brewer started spraying water and coffee grounds all over the darn place (see photo, above).

As I'm giving the brewer the stank-eye for being a jerk and examining the K-Cup (which must have been faulty, right?), I start ripping open another froth packet to try again. THE SAME SCENE on take 2. We were about to call it a day and cart all seven kids to Starbucks when I noticed that I left the brewer's plastic K-Cup holding insert - right in front of me, on the counter.

My bad.

Sorry, Keurig.
Sorry, Gevalia.
Sorry, Jenny.

Take three. We finally get a nice cup brewed and Jenny thinks it needs a weeeeee little bit of sugar. She's over there mixing and stirring and all while I brew my cup. Then, I get the stank-eye from Jenny. She says "Um, do you think...I think...is that the salt I just put in here?"

Yeah, that's what you get for displaying so much hatred toward Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Jenny! She totally salted her coffee. We basically burst into the laughter, which soon became that weird silent I'm-laughing-so-hard-no-noise-is-coming-out laughter.

Take four and five. We get a good brew for her, a good brew for me, NO SALT, and the results were amazing! Gevalia has created a product that truly does taste like a high-quality coffee-house beverage. On take four and five, we were super impressed. ;)

Thank you, Gevalia, for such a delicious product! AND, thank you for sending enough coffee that we could have several domestic mishaps and still get to enjoy the product. I'll definitely keeping a box on-hand and using, with caution, in the future!! Love it!

I've decided something...

As disorganized as I can be sometimes, I totally thrive on structure. I know that doesn't make sense, but let me tell you something....since our kids have been back in school, this whole eating better and exercising thing got a lot easier. Like, a lot a lot. All of the sudden we have a schedule again. Weeeee! It's like some light turned on and I know how to shop for healthy food and workout again. So, hopefully, I'll start seeing results again. I've been stuck in the same weight range for like six months or something crazy. I'm hopping to get into the next 10 pound range very soon.

Here's what I'm going to do to get there... (are you ready for this?)

• Eat clean.
• Drink water.
• Exercise.
• Praise God.

I know. Nothing shocking there. It feels SO good just to take those simple steps toward progress when you've been off the radar for a while. I actually enjoying working out (I know...something must be wrong) and I'm searching Pinterest with a fresh-food frame of mind, lately...instead of scoping out the latest cookies. I've been doing Couch to 5k with a friend and it's been going really well so far. I'm hopefully to be able to run the whole darn 3.1 miles for once and for all. The scale hasn't been moving just yet (it usually likes to mess with me like that when I throw in exercise) but I feel focused and energized. 

Here's what else I know. 

These vegetarian protein (made from rice, pea and soy protein - also GF) shakes are really good! You can check the company's website for your local retailers. It's an easy way to get a good, healthy meal in when you're in a hurry...or when you're just out of ideas.

Lysa TerKeurst is a pretty smart cookie and this quote of hers is really sticking with me this week!

My friend, Karen, made us some super delicious granola. I've been having it over greek yogurt at lunch - so simple and satisfying. I love granola, don't you?

I still love coffee and my delicious un-clean coffee creamer just as much as ever. At least it's not crack. Right?

Perhaps I should blog something.

But I've been busy - cleaning the house; changing diapers; taking a million bajillion photos with my new camera; reading; did I say laundry?; having birthdays for half our kids; living up the last of summer; shopping at my new favorite used book store; hugging on my babies who are getting so big; waiting for friends to have their babies so I can go hug on them, too; going on my first girls night out since 2011 - yeah, I'm a neglectful friend like that; wearing my flip-flops thin; thinking about working out, but not actually doing it; listening to the new Derek Webb album (which is awesome, btw); getting ready to send the kids back to school and, of course, not eating what I'm supposed to. Oh, yeah, and more laundry.

I promise to up the blogging ante once my littles are back in school. Summer is basically a free-for-all when it comes to our schedules. For now, I'll leave you with something completely random. The other day, a friend of mine told me she wanted to try out Trader Joe's. If you've read this blog for more than a hot second, you probably know that I big-warm-fuzzy-heart TJ's. I love it so much that I made her a comprehensive shopping list to make her trip more enjoyable. This is big, you guys, because I don't shop with a list. I wouldn't stick to it anyway; so, why bother? SO, all TJ's stock different things, but I think I've listed some of their staples, here. Check it out and happy shopping. PS. The aisle designations are from our TJ's and likely won't match up to yours. PPS. This isn't meant to be a "clean eating" list.

Notes about shopping TJ's: 

• No, the prices aren't out of control.
• Yes, it's kid friendly. I take all four kids by myself and make it out alive every single time. They have lollis and stickers at the checkouts. 
• Yes, they have bags, but it's cool if you bring your own.

Aisle 1 (all the way to the left and left of the fruit)

• Ezekiel 4:9 cinnamon raisin bread
• Oat bread (for the kids)
• Hummus quartet
• Mild salsa
• English cucumber (aka seedless/burp less)
• Bananas
• Clementine Oranges
• Other fruit, veggie, eggplant, avocado

(Opposite side of first aisle)

• Almond butter
• Honey
• Maple syrup
• Many clove garlic sauce
• Brown rice pasta
• Brown basmati rice
• Marinara sauce
• Marinated artichokes

(Dairy aisle along back wall)

• Eggs
• Butter
• Almond milk
• Greek yogurt
• The chocolate pudding is pretty much amazing

(Aisle 2 - Frozen foods)

• Orange chicken
• Sockeye salmon
• Cat cookies (cinnamon) - look on the shelf above frozen foods
• Chinese potstickers and/or egg rolls
• Strawberry coconut milk ice cream
• Coffee and cream latte bars (these are SO good)

(Aisle 3 - Snacks and such)

• Olive oil popcorn
• Veggie chips
• Quinoa black bean chips (all 6 of us eat these) - good in the hummus
• Hot tea, if you like tea

(Aisle 4) I can't remember...I think it's soaps, toothpaste, protein powder, etc. I don't get any of that there.

(Back wall cereal aisle)

• Puffins (original and PB) all of our kids and the hubs and I love puffins!!
• Chia seeds
• Oats

(Far wall with meat)

• Love the Bool Kogi (for the grill - it's TJ's version of Korean Bulgogi)
• Hebrew National Hot Dogs - safe alternative to regular hot dogs
• Chicken breasts
• Any other meat that looks good
• Havarti lite cheese
• Dubliner Irish Cheddar
• Cheese sticks
• Turkey breast, salami, etc.

If you like adult beverages, the Newton's Folly hard cider is delicious. Trader Jose's beer is good, too. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I hear the laundry room calling.

Isn't that just dandy? A review of Dandy Blend herbal beverage.

When I go into a natural food store, I tend to lose my mind a little. I see all of these awesome miracle herbs and spices and waters and beans that are supposed to make you lose weight, attain spotless health record and so on. You know what I mean. A couple weeks ago, I was perusing the aisles at our local natural foods store (with four children, btw), in search of hazelnuts and nutritional yeast. I found those, and this,

And about $75 worth of other crap that jumped off the shelves into my cart. I brought it home, sent it to its place in the pantry and thought on it. Now, I'm NOTORIOUS for buying stuff like this then chickening out. I just kept thinking of reasons why I shouldn't drink it and should, instead, pawn it off on some other naturopathic person with more guts than me. I mean, for goodness sakes...

• I'm allergic to grass, I surely have to be allergic to dandelions? What if this stuff makes my throat close up and then no one knows how to save me.
• What if it tastes like burnt coffee then ruins me for real coffee forever?
• What if I use it, can't take the taste and then I've wasted $11? 

So I did what I do for all food dilemmas.  I consulted Pinterest.

I saw that others had indeed consumed the Dandy Blend and lived to write creative recipes using it and even blog posts about it. SO. After combing Pinterest and reading every word of the company's FAQ section on their site, I decided to go for it. After-all, I'm trying to be VERY clean here in an effort to lose the weight I've packed on with cookies and ice cream this summer. So, Instagrammed all the way, of course. I mean, in the slim chance that the stuff DID kill me, at least there'd be evidence on the cause of death.

Here we go: 

It sure looks like coffee, doesn't it? 

To make sure I avoided any trace of bitterness, so I could return to my beloved Gevalia, I used these things (heat the coconut milk in the microwave - add Dandy Blend, cinnamon and blend on high speed in the Ninja).

And then I got this. Looks a little Starbucksy, no? Maybe a little? 

Guess what! It's good AND I lived to tell about it. It tastes about as much like coffee as coffee! It's a totally enjoyable coffee substitute. I loved it. What was I afraid of?

So, here's to a smooth natural, very clean, coffee-eque beverage! I think you should try it! Check out their website for more info: http://www.dandyblend.com/

This post is not sponsored, though it probably should be. I bet the Dandy Blend people would love that I've told the world about their non-poisonous delicious coffee treat. All opinions herein are mine.