Keeping a Diary

For Christmas, our 7 year old desperately wanted a diary, with a lock. As much as I didn't want to get her one - because that means she's edging dangerously close to tween instead of my baby girl - I know how it is. We got her one anyway. I always kept a diary or journal of sorts. Looking back, the purpose of my journaling wasn't to devise a grand scheme against the universe or to conceal dark truths, I wrote as a way of organizing thoughts; planning; recording; reflecting. Those are all really good and constructive skills to have. Over the years, this very blog has acted as a journal of sorts and I'm thinking of adding a new (pictorial) chapter to it.


If you've been reading along with me a while now, you know I have a deep-seated struggle with using food as medication instead of nutrition. Some stress-inducing times ensued, recently, and I gained about 10lbs. I've come too far to do this and thankfully, I know how to turn this horse and buggy around. I'm not making any grandiose plans to cut dairy, gluten, wheat, fat, and all other sources of flavor. That's unreasonable for me. I do know how to eat clean and the two items below will help me do just that...

1.) Grace. The Lord is bigger than any burden I have and when I have that urge to binge, I need to conscientiously PRAY and nourish my body with scriptural truths instead of a pixie stick.

2.) Accountability. I do SO much better when I have enlisted accountability folks asking how things are going; who are positive influences; and who will encourage me to continue on the right path - even if I don't know them personally. It just helps to be part of a team. Accountability works! It's why things like Weight Watchers; Advocare; Beach Body; and My FitnessPal thrive! These apps and groups all encourage you to write what you bite and work through your diet and exercise routines with friends/coaches.

To me, eating well isn't just about being a few pounds lighter (anymore, anyways). It's about properly caring for what God gave me. When we choose to abuse our bodies with food, drugs, or alcohol, we are really just incinerating the temples that God built especially for us to do His work. I wouldn't burn a brick and mortar temple, would you? Why would we do that to our own bodies that were made for so much more than an inanimate building? We have work to do, believing friends, and we need to keep our minds and bodies healthy to do that work. 

Additionally, I'm not wasting my weaknesses. God gave me this weakness, sugar addiction; but, He also gave me a voice as a writer; I'm putting two and two together in hopes of reaching out to others. He casts light out of darkness - all. the. time.

SO, here's the next chapter. I created a Pinterest board called "food journal in pictures." I'm posting photos of every meal (I take photos of basically everything I eat anyway, ask anyone who follows me on social media). Please follow along for accountability AND for clean meal ideas. I'll be posting everything - good and bad - but hopefully there are mostly good things there and you can get some clean eating ideas as well. :) http://www.pinterest.com/dailyupsnpounds/food-journal-in-pictures/.

Wishing you all a very healthy new year!

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, - I Cor 6:19 (ESV). 

I am, and always will be,

a sugar addict. We're not talking ha-ha funny-funny Tess likes her sweets kind of stuff, guys. We're
talking Tess can sit down to the table and eat a pound of sugar encrusted pretzels, then move on to cookies and sweet tea an hour later sorta serious business. We're saying that once that trigger is pulled, there's no telling how many processed bad-for-you gonna-kill-you-sooner-or-later foods I'll eat, or for how many days. We're saying that I might roll through the Starbucks drive-thru every darn day to get the biggest sugariest latte they have because I need it. We're saying that I just flat-out have an eating disorder. I always have. While I don't like dealing with it, I know that the Lord gives us ALL struggles and through those we can grow closer to Him.

I've had to "quit" sugar about four times now. It's never fun, but it's always when I'm at a breaking point with my weight - my favorite pants don't fit, my collar bone is missing again, and I just feel a little more sluggish than normal. Over the last few months, some stressful circumstances triggered me to start eating crap again. Not literal crap, you guys. Processed, sugary, carb-laden, fatty-fat food that has no place in my body. That's what I'm talking about. About the same time, I also completely abandoned my daily workouts. I'm all or nothing, folks. Not only do I look and feel fatter, I just don't feel good. And, my skin is revolting with all sorts of special blemishes that will look mighty fine in Christmas photos as well. Oh, wait, I have Photoshop for that. Anywho, I can't liquify and clone stamp myself every day before I walk out the door, so it's going to have to be nose to the grindstone clean eating again.

It might be two weeks before Christmas, and no time to start watching my food intake, but I'm tired of it. I texted my fat-pants-woes to a sweet friend today and she said - Let's do sugar free till Christmas. Starting NOW!! I obliged and had a clean lunch. So, here we go. I'm going to try my hardest not to cheat and hopefully we'll be feeling better by the new year and on the straight and narrow to keep eating well every. single. day. as well as seeking HIM more when things are stressful instead of taking it out on a bag of chips and a package of Oreos.  :)

There's no catch; no program to follow; no pill to swallow; just clean, simple, whole-foods living.

No added sugar.
No white flour, rice, potatoes, etc.
No processed (boxed/packaged/bar coded) foods.
No fancy coffees.
No alcohol.

Who's with us?

PS. Sugar addiction really is serious business. If you think you may be addicted to sugar, please visit the following site: http://endsugaraddiction.com/ and this one: http://www.healthiertalk.com/sugar-more-addictive-heroin-1374

Life After Sugar Addiction: Five Fun Surprises

This is me a few years ago, putting some really unhealthy junk
food on frozen yogurt and feeling overly enthusiastic about it. 

1. I can actually taste my food. - I don't eat most "white foods" - white rice, white flour, white potatoes, and white sugar are all included. A couple months back, we were eating dinner with family and as part of my "treat" meal and I had some white rice. I could actually taste the flavor of the rice. I remember how sweet and good it tasted; before, it was just a bland filler food. I realized right then and there that my tastebuds had been gauged SO high, that I wasn't truly tasting everything I was eating because I was so hopped up on sugar all the time. Since I was unable to taste what I was eating, that just lead to needing more sugar, butter, salt, flavoring, toppings, etc. See example in the photo above... I wish I were kidding.
   
2. Certain things are MUCH sweeter now than ever before. - Also, when I was addicted to sugar, nothing was too rich or sugary for me (Did I tell you about the sundae I used to eat regularly when I was pregnant with baby #1? - chocolate ice cream, a banana, chocolate syrup, maraschino cherries plus the syrup they soak in, with crushed up cookies and whipped cream on top). Not exaggerating, at all. I used to eat that one a lot. Anyhow. Certain things like soda (which I almost never drink) and dark chocolate are much sweeter now. Before, dark chocolate tasted somewhat bitter to me. I didn't care about the health benefits. I thought it was nasty. And, with the soda, I could slurp down two or three. Now, I can barely drink one.
   
3. My blood sugar no longer spikes, causing me to feel sick. - I can remember feeling like I was going to pass out when running in morning gym class, around age 14. Pretty soon, it wasn't just in gym, it was happening a lot. My mom took me to the family doctor and he said I was probably "a little hypoglycemic" and we called it a day. There wasn't an official diagnosis or treatment, I just knew I always felt faint and tried to just eat more sugar (fake sugar, even) to keep from feeling that feeling. I didn't realize what I was doing, but I knew I felt better that way. Guess what guys. This is why people say sugar is like a drug. I'm not hypoglycemic. I was addicted to sugar. It just took a good 15 years or so, a handful of inconclusive blood tests, and the invention of Google for me to get that figured out. The sugary protein-less food I was eating caused my blood sugar to spike, a lot, and caused me to eat more, a lot more. Additionally, that faint feeling is very similar to the feeling of an anxiety attack. Guess how I inherently treated that one, too? Oh well, right? Knowing is half the battle. Now, I always start my day with protein to combat sugar cravings from the time I wake up on.
   
4. I never have sugar cravings (well, almost never). On occasion, I start to daydream about donuts and carrot cake. If it's a special occasion, I'll have a treat. However, I don't "have" to have chocolate, gum, candy, cherry coke, wine, cake, candy, Twinkies cream-filled sponge cakes, wine, candy...etc. every darn day. In fact, a lot of that stuff I just flat out don't eat, drink, or care about anymore. I know, a little sad, but at least my clothes fit and I'm healthier for it.
   
5. I don't over-eat. Due to item #3, above, and my six small meals a day, I don't go nuts and binge out on a meal I've been saving my calories all day for OR binge out because my blood sugar is bottoming out and I'm turning ten shades of white. Yes, binge eating is fun. I'm not going to lie. However, it's not good for us and it can easily become a bad habit that quickly leads to weight gain. If I try to over-eat now, I feel sick. Let's see ~ shall I choose barfing or binge eating. That's not a hard one for me. I'm totally content with small meals now. It's a miracle.

Think you might be addicted to sugar? Want more info on how to quit? I'd love to help AND you can check out the following resources about sugar addiction here and feel free to message me via Daily Ups & Pounds' FB page or in the comments below.

Happy sugar detoxing!